Travis Bradberry* lists some of the people you might come across in or out of work who should be avoided at all costs.
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them; others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.
As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy.
Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all, stress.
Recent research from the Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious toxic people are.
The researchers found exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions resulted in subjects’ brains having a massive stress response.
Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided.
Toxic people don’t just make you miserable, they’re really hard on your brain.
It’s often said you’re the product of the five people you spend most time with.
If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic, you’ll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back.
What follows are some types of toxic drainers that you should stay away from at all costs so you don’t become one yourself.
The Gossip
Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes.
It might be fun to peer into somebody else’s personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and hurts other people.
There are too many positives out there to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.
The Temperamental
Some people have absolutely no control over their emotions.
They will lash out at you and project their feelings onto you, all the while thinking you’re the one causing their malaise.
Temperamental people are tough to dump from your life because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them.
However, temperamental people will use you as their emotional toilet and should be avoided at all costs.
The Victim
They are tough to identify because you initially empathise with their problems.
However, as time passes, you begin to realise their ‘time of need’ is all the time.
Victims actively push away any personal responsibility by making every speed bump they encounter into an uncrossable mountain.
They don’t see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow; instead, they see them as an out.
The Self-Absorbed
Self-absorbed people bring you down through the impassionate distance they maintain from other people.
You can usually tell when you’re hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone.
As far as they’re concerned, there’s no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else.
You’re merely a tool used to build their self-esteem.
The Envious
To envious people, the grass is always greener somewhere else.
Even when something great happens to envious people, they don’t derive any satisfaction from it.
Let’s face it, there’s always someone out there who’s doing better if you look hard enough.
Spending too much time around envious people is dangerous because they teach you to trivialise your own accomplishments.
The Manipulator
Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the façade of friendship.
They can be tricky to deal with because they treat you like a friend.
They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they use this information as part of a hidden agenda.
Manipulators always want something from you.
It’s all take, take, take, with little or no giving.
The Twisted
There are certain toxic people who have bad intentions, deriving deep satisfaction from the pain and misery of others.
They are either out to hurt you, to make you feel bad, or to get something from you; otherwise, they have no interest in you.
The Judgmental
They are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool.
They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it.
Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you’re best off cutting them out and being yourself.
The Arrogant
They are a waste of your time because they see everything you do as a personal challenge.
Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities.
Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more disagreeable, and have more cognitive problems than the average person.
Toxic people drive you crazy because their behaviour is so irrational, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?
The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps.
Quit trying to beat them at their own game; distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they’re a science project.
You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos — only the facts.
*Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. He can be contacted at talentsmart.com.
This article first appeared at talentsmart.com.
