Lisa Earle McLeod* has advice for countering the relentlessly negative co-worker who can put a damper on the most innovative and exciting project.
You’re in a good mood.
Lots of meetings on the agenda, work you’re (mostly) excited about, and even an iced latte.
Then enter the office Eeyore — shutting down ideas, endlessly complaining, and sucking the energy out of the room.
These so-called party poopers can have a draining effect on even the most optimistic, purpose-driven people.
When you’re working to create a healthy, positive work environment, running into ever-present negativity can be exhausting.
When someone is continually negative, you’re likely not going to change their attitude with a couple of suggestions (bummer, I know).
However, you can teach these folks how to treat you, and most importantly, you can safeguard your own emotions to prevent their negativity from seeping into your soul.
Here are four ways to manage an office Eeyore:
Dilute it
This is a pure numbers strategy.
The more time in your calendar you give to conversations that drag you down, the more your entire day (or life) will start to feel the effects.
Buoy your spirits by breaking up stretches of negativity and adding in workouts, time to relax, and conversations that will inspire you right after the negative experience.
Redirect, instead of pushing back
One of the most powerful techniques I’ve learned about dealing with negative people comes from my nephew’s Aikido martial arts class.
In Aikido, you’re taught that when someone attacks you, you don’t push directly back.
Instead, you redirect their energy elsewhere.
Think guide vs push.
With a constantly negative person, redirecting their energy could mean pointing them towards a resource, like their manager or HR.
It could also be suggesting they take action to resolve whatever negativity they are expressing.
In many cases, they’ll correctly ascertain the subtext of: “I’m not going to partake in your pity party.”
You teach people how to treat you, by showing them what you will and won’t tolerate.
Play to the top of the room
I got this advice early in my career when I was giving large seminars almost every week.
Back then, I was overly obsessed about the (usually small) amount of people who would sit at the back of the room, arms crossed, refusing to engage.
I assumed it had everything to do with me, or their dislike of the content.
I spent a hugely disproportionate share of my brainpower trying to win them over.
This kept me from fully showing up for the people who were excited.
Playing to the top of the room reverses this, it means leaning into the people who are enthused, the middle will catch up, and then the Eeyore’s won’t dominate.
The ‘play to the top of the room’ advice applies to almost every facet of life; point yourself to where the positive energy is.
Don’t take it personally
This one can be challenging.
When you’re making a proactive effort to be positive, even an unsolicited eye-roll can feel like a personal affront.
In most cases, it’s not — you have no idea what’s going on beneath the surface.
Some people have challenging childhoods, tough circumstances, or are facing immeasurable hardships they’ll never speak of in the workplace.
Ultimately, we are only in control of our own behaviour.
You need not sentence yourself to decades of fending off constant negativity.
Instead, recognise that you’re in the power position.
*Lisa Earle McLeod is the leadership expert best known for creating the popular business concept Noble Purpose. She is the author of Selling with Noble Purpose and Leading with Noble Purpose. She can be contacted at mcleodandmore.com.
This article first appeared at mcleodandmore.com.
