The internet is full of ‘influencers’, but Bruce Kasanoff* says the best kind of influence helps people make decisions that are in their own interests.
To have influence is not to be semi-famous and share carefully cultivated images on social media that mainly serve to feed your own ego.
The right kind of influence helps people make decisions that are in their own interests.
These are things they could or should be doing, if only they gain the insight and motivation to do so.
For example, if you help someone make the decision to leave a dead-end job and take one with much more potential, you are exerting positive influence.
The more you understand the notion of helping people make decisions that are in their own interests, the more influence you will gain.
That, in turn, will magnify your impact and help you positively influence even more people.
The more you resist the impulse to sell, the better.
Influence does not come from blatant self-promotion or pushy sales tactics. Once you start selling, most people stop listening.
In a similar manner, the better you keep your ego in check, the easier it will be for others to relate to you and thus share what you have to say.
No one wants to know that you were voted the Most Attractive Person in a 27-mile radius or that your house is bigger than theirs.
The more you help others, the more influence you gain. As long as you respect this cardinal rule, you will gain influence.
Think of it this way: The better you are at helping people make wise decisions, the more evidence they will have that it pays to listen to you.
This principle works with your boss, children, neighbours, colleagues and friends.
Don’t worry about taking credit or garnering thanks. Just keep doing your best to help. In the long run, you will benefit.
Not all influence comes from sharing ‘wisdom’.
Sometimes the best advice you can give is simply to share a provocative and highly positive question, such as: What could you say or do in the next week to help someone else make a wise decision?
*Bruce Kasanoff is the founder of The Journey, a newsletter for positive, uplifting and accomplished professionals. He is also an executive coach and social media ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. He can be contacted at kasanoff.com.
This article first appeared at kasanoff.com.
