Finding out who you really are may take more effort than you expect, but it’s a journey worth embarking on. Photo: File.
Bruce Kasanoff says we spend so much of the first part of our lives being shaped by those around us that we can reach adulthood not knowing who we truly are.
Can a human being get to age two without being shaped by their environment?
Nope.
Someone tells you when to wake and go to sleep; what to eat and how to dress.
They instruct you on what is ”safe” versus ”dangerous”, and ”smart” versus ”not smart” (I’m being polite).
You are told who to play with and how to feel.
Then school comes along and suddenly you have teachers and classmates weighing in. “That’s stupid!” “Don’t be lazy.” “Those guys aren’t cool.”
You might even be told who to hate, and what ideas to fear.
Tests come close behind. They label you, and these labels start to influence your path through life.
Some of these labels might originate because you were sick or distracted the day you took an important test.
Gaps emerge between who you are and how you are labelled.
Some of these gaps are the by-product of a teacher or administrator or even a parent not being wise enough to understand the full complexity and majesty of who you are.
I’m not writing these words to make you feel regretful. What’s done is done. In many cases, I’m sure your true nature emerged despite all these obstacles.
I know that my mother’s well-meaning attempts to make me eat green beans failed because, in my soul, I am not a green-bean eater.
My point is simple: When we assume we know who and what we really are, it’s entirely possible that may not be the case.
Getting in touch with the real you is a spectacular use of time and effort, but it can require more time and effort than you expect.
From my own experience, I know that even starting down the road of self-discovery often requires a nudge from someone else.
You might think: It’s too hard … painful … complicated … challenging … overwhelming.
It’s not.
It’s a gratifying and wonderful journey, as long as you treat it as such.
*Bruce Kasanoff is the founder of The Journey, a newsletter for positive, uplifting and accomplished professionals. He is also an executive coach and social media ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. He can be contacted at kasanoff.com.
This article first appeared at kasanoff.com.
