Lisa Earle McLeod* believes there are times when it is acceptable – even desirable — to ignore people trying to communicate with you at work.
The term ‘ghosting’ is much talked about in the dating world.
You go on a bad date with someone and never reach out again.
You ignore any attempt from them to reconnect.
You fade away into the void, like a ghost.
Unfortunately, this human phenomenon isn’t reserved for Tinder matches or the friend of a friend’s friend you were ‘kindly’ set up with.
Ghosting happens at work, too.
In professional settings, we tend to mask our annoyance with polite follow-ups and ‘just circling back’ emails, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
We know you shouldn’t ghost your colleagues or other professional connections, but here are a few instances where it is actually acceptable.
An ice-cold sales outreach
I’m talking about where the template doesn’t even have your correct name inserted.
Spray-and-pray sales tactics do not warrant a response, unless, of course, you’re interested.
However, with no personalisation or planning, the odds of that are likely next to zero.
Unrelenting follow-ups
If you’ve politely (or sternly) declined an initial outreach, you don’t need to repeat yourself.
Good salespeople, job seekers, and industry connections will respectfully follow up.
However, when a one-time contact emails you every day for the rest of your life, that’s a different story.
Following egregious behaviour
Just like the dating world, you have the right to boundaries at work, too.
If someone has made you unsafe or uncomfortable, you don’t owe them a reply.
Now, here’s where ghosting gets tricky.
When power dynamics are at play, ghosting happens more frequently than our human decency should allow.
When someone is selling something, looking for a job, or asking for a favour, it can be tempting to not respond.
After all, when you’re in the power seat, you know that person will be waiting…sometimes, for as long as it takes.
That may be true, yet speaking as someone who has been professionally ghosted (we all have), the recipient does not forget.
Your reputation follows you, and should you ever be on the other side of the dynamic, your karmic silence may be returned.
Be wary of these common (but unacceptable) ghosting instances.
Job applications
When someone has put time and effort into applying for a role, you owe them the courtesy of a response.
If they wrote a custom cover letter or interviewed with you, replying is even more imperative.
Salespeople who did some actual work
Maybe they had a short conversation with you or maybe they really did their homework, researching your organisation and creating a custom outreach just for you.
You don’t have to say yes or agree to any next steps, just acknowledging any type of value a salesperson created for you is polite.
Someone contacting the wrong person
Maybe the person they’re looking for doesn’t work at your organisation anymore.
Maybe their last name is one letter off from yours, and you got the email by mistake.
Imagine if someone was looking for you, accidentally reached out to the wrong person and that person didn’t respond, and now they think you’re a total jerk for ghosting.
Not fair, right? Kindly let the person reaching out know.
If you’re wondering whether or not you owe someone a response, ask yourself — would you be surprised (or upset) if they ghosted you?
If you offered them the job, and they didn’t respond, would you be surprised?
If you said yes to the proposal, but never heard back, would you be disappointed?
The pull-through thread in ghosting (and most human interactions) is that our overall human decency depends on us extending goodwill, even when we are in a power position.
A one-sentence response is rarely too much to ask.
*Lisa Earle McLeod is the leadership expert best known for creating the popular business concept Noble Purpose. She is the author of Selling with Noble Purpose and Leading with Noble Purpose. She can be contacted at mcleodandmore.com.
This article first appeared at mcleodandmore.com
