Dana Brownlee* looks at why teams have no interest in ‘superhero’ leaders.
If you’re trying to be a superhero leader, stop. Instead, embrace your inner Peter Parker.
When Stan Lee created Spiderman, he wanted to develop a new, different type of superhero–one that was mortal, relatable, who had real flaws and problems.
Peter Parker wasn’t an alien from another planet who was virtually invincible.
He was an awkward teen with lots of family tragedy trying to navigate high school in New York City while also using his special gift to help protect the city.
Stan Lee instinctively knew that audiences would gravitate to Parker’s relatability and connect to his fallibility, his weaknesses, his faults.
Unfortunately, many leaders miss the opportunity to make these authentic connections by insisting on projecting a superhero image.
In this post we’ll explore some of the dangers of leading like a superhero and how to avoid them.
Watch my LinkedIn Learning course Answering Tough Questions as a Leader to learn more about how real leaders–not superheroes–address tough questions with candour, poise and confidence and ultimately, be a leader people don’t want to leave.
Danger #1 – Inadvertently Creating Distance
The best leaders find ways to connect with each individual on their team.
Unfortunately, fostering and projecting an air of invincibility or perfection really just pushes people away–much like you probably wouldn’t gravitate to someone at a dinner party who seemed “perfect.” In many ways, our flaws and vulnerabilities are what connects us and helps build trust.
One of my favourite ice breakers for new teams is asking each person to share their first paid job during introductions on a call or during a meeting.
It’s not just fun and interesting.
It also has a “hierarchy-leveling” impact.
When the VP shares that her first paid job was as a bagger at Piggly Wiggly or complains about how he hated getting up at 6 am for his paper run, all of a sudden you feel a sense of connection, even camaraderie.
Oftentimes, we connect around common struggles, problems and areas of vulnerability so when we hide those (to opt instead for an air of invincibility) we unintentionally create emotional distance.
Learn more about how to create more opportunities for safe and effective vulnerability, in my course, Answering Tough Questions as a Leader.
Danger #2 – Setting a Dangerous, Counterproductive Example
Invariably, leaders are observed as examples of what to do, how to act, etc., and when they project an image of perfection, there’s an implicit suggestion that perfection is what is required.
This can lead to unhealthy habits and behaviours like team members responding to emails while on vacation to “stay on top of things” and avoid letting others down or pretending to have all the answers or avoiding risk-taking in general for fear of failure.
Leaders create healthier environments when they acknowledge the importance of taking risks, learning from mistakes and focusing instead on continuous improvement.
Learn more about how to identify and work on perfectionism in my course, Answering Tough Questions as a Leader.
Danger #3 – Exhausting Yourself
Projecting an air of invincibility isn’t just counter-productive.
It’s also exhausting!
Leaders need support, encouragement, and camaraderie as well.
They’re not just leading the team.
They’re part of the team! So, when leaders feel a self-induced pressure to have all the answers, know everything, have the right solution every time, it can take a mental toll.
There’s something truly divine, cathartic, and healthy about admitting to a team that you’re not quite sure how to solve a particularly vexing problem and asking them to help you work through some innovative ideas or novel approaches.
Enlisting and accepting support doesn’t just relieve stress and reduce burnout, it also cultivates and encourages a real sense of team camaraderie.
When leaders lean on their teams, they send the message that they trust them.
While it’s easy to repeat adages like “There’s no I in team,” superhero leadership contradicts that message.
Superhero leaders tend to detract focus from the team and instead centre themselves.
Learn more about how to respond to your team when you don’t know the answer or can’t tell them in my course, Answering Tough Questions as a Leader.
Real leaders are real! Remember that people are attracted to authenticity so don’t pretend to be perfect.
No one wants to follow a superhero.
Instead, teams want a leader who is really talented, passionate and honest who will share hard news when they need to but also be willing to admit that they don’t have all the answers.
They want Peter Parker, not Superman.
*Dana Brownlee is a Senior Contributor at Forbes.
This article first appeared at linkedin.com.
