Nothing frustrates Sonia McDonald* more than people who believe they are not smart, talented or special enough to fulfil their obvious potential.
Have you ever felt like you are not enough?
Not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough or even worthy, special and brave?
We are all been there.
However, we are all good enough, smart, beautiful, talented, worthy, special and brave and so much more.
I published a book three years ago called Just Rock It! I wrote it because I’m so freaking over hearing people claim a lack of self-confidence.
I’ve seen people sabotage themselves, seen others put people down.
I am truly over the fact that we live in a culture and society where it’s frowned upon if we advocate for and believe in ourselves.
On my 46th birthday three years ago (now I am showing my age), I stood in a room with a group of people who were all part of a conference I was attending.
The aim of the conference was to help teenagers build their confidence and leadership skills.
Most importantly, I was there with my beautiful 15-year-old daughter, who had been struggling with her sense of self-worth and self-belief.
I was there to learn how to be a better leader and mother.
Frankly, it was the last thing I wanted to do on my birthday.
Even though I live and breathe this stuff, I was dreading doing it with the most important person in my world.
I thought she would find it confronting, and agonising, and that her sullenness might make the entire experience most definitely not a walk in the park.
What I experienced and learned was unexpected.
It brought back a rush of memories for me and seemed to transport me back to my pre-teen years.
I began to remember the times when I didn’t feel good enough, smart enough, and when I felt I had flat-out failed.
There I was, turning 46, and I felt like my 12-year-old self all over again.
It was a humbling feeling, especially with my daughter right next to me, experiencing the very same thing.
At the end of the seminar, though, I had come full circle.
I reminded myself that I’m a smart, successful and amazing leader and mother who is good enough.
The best part was my daughter grinning by the end of it, saying: “Wow, Mum. You really do this stuff all the time? That was great.”
I decided to write this book for those people who can’t seem to grasp their potential, their greatness.
For those who want a life where they can be the best version of themselves.
These people (you) simply need a little nudge, a little bit of support, confidence or motivation to rock it.
This is why you need to focus on what makes you rock.
When I ask people at my coaching or leadership programs to write down what makes them different, most people struggle.
I bet they wouldn’t if I asked them to write down their weaknesses, which can be so frustrating to me.
So, how do you find out what makes you unique? Why are you special? (Be assured, we all are).
It really is simple to figure out your strengths, but it does take some work and time set aside for self-discovery.
Ask your peers, family, friends and work associates to tell you your strengths and talents as they see them.
Discover your values. What’s important to you and why?
Write down a list of achievements, successes, what you love doing, what you’re doing when you are at your best. What are you doing when you’re in the ‘zone’?
Finally, surround yourself with people who have different strengths than you.
They rock, too. The more aware you are of what makes you rock, the more you’ll be able to help those around you rock right alongside you.
Write down on a journal now five things that you believe others would say about you that rock and let me know.
Stay Courageous. Stay Kind.
*Sonia McDonald is the Chief Executive and founder of Brisbane-based LeadershipHQ and McDonald Inc. She can be contacted at soniamcdonald.com.au.
This article first appeared on LinkedIn.
