Kristi Faulkner* says organisations are crying out for soft skills such as empathy, adaptability and communication — qualities mothers have in spades.
“My life consists of two things: running a company and raising two children.”
Although a thousand women could make the same declaration, I took note when Stacey Epstein (pictured) boldly owned it.
Epstein is CEO of Zinc, a tech startup on a mission to change workplace culture with technology for deskless workers.
She leads Zinc with the expressed commitment to do anything she can to personally foster her team’s career growth and maturity.
“When you are running an organisation, you are raising humans to a different end, but it’s the same thing as being a mum,” she said.
“You want to nurture someone to be their best.”
The role of CEO remains one mostly defined by men, who rarely acknowledge fatherhood’s influence on their leadership.
By contrast, the leadership style of Zinc’s pedigreed Silicon Valley Chief Executive is significantly informed by her experience as a mother.
I wondered aloud how Epstein felt about the “lead like a mum” characterisation.
After all, it’s hard enough to break into the top job when you’re a woman, perhaps even more so, a mum — someone perceived, for better or worse, to have priorities beyond the office.
In her wisdom, Epstein embraced it.
“Why wouldn’t anyone be proud to be a CEO and a mum?”
Epstein came up through some of the fiercest big tech firms in the Valley, and her leadership style stands in sharp contrast to those alpha-male competitive cultures.
“Sometimes when I look back with my peers, we imagine what great things we may have accomplished had we been encouraged to collaborate rather than compete,” she says.
“It was idiotic.”
“I believe everyone has to work together to get to better results, and as a mother, I think in terms of building a family-style culture versus disparate competitive teams,” says Epstein.
“No mum wants to pit her kids against one another.”
“We’re better as a unit.”
But that doesn’t mean a free ride.
Epstein expects excellence and admits that at work she can be intimidating and demanding, but she’s also committed to being kind, considerate and transparent.
Like every parent, she strives to balance encouragement and discipline.
“Whether at home or work, I set parameters, give feedback,” says Epstein, whose leadership style is widely considered constructive and mentoring.
“Here’s what you did wrong and here’s what I expect next time. After all,” says Epstein with a smile, “you can’t fire your kids.”
Indeed, in PwC’s twentieth CEO Survey, 77 per cent of respondents reported that the lack of soft skills like empathy, adaptability, and communication is the one of the most severe threats organisations must address immediately.
Who has the soft skills mastered?
Mums.
So why not bring the talents of more mums to bear for organisational success?
Though the CEO-mum is still as rare in the F500 as it is in tech, more women entrepreneurs are starting and growing organisations while balancing their crossover role as mothers.
Do these women experience a convergence of parenting and leading?
How does mothering influence their leadership style?
I asked a group of successful leaders who are effectively balancing their ambitions with motherhood.
Overwhelmingly, these women told me that their leadership style changed dramatically after motherhood.
Michele Trogni, a venture capitalist with a seat on several corporate boards, defines the leader’s objective as getting the very best out of everyone around you, while inspiring each person to support mutual goals and aspirations.
“Before motherhood, I believed everyone could achieve anything they wanted and therefore I didn’t really focus on capabilities and personal motivation,” says Trogni.
“Raising four completely unique children reminds me constantly that talent, drive and motivation are massive influencers on outcome.”
She attributes her leadership success to investing the time to get to the next level of depth with people to uncover what drives them.
Allyson Downey, CEO of WeeSpring, agrees that observing the individuality of her children has helped her recognise talent and get better at putting people in the roles that optimise their skills.
Amy Nelson, CEO of The Riveter, says becoming a mother taught her the real power of the word “no”, plus how to be more forgiving and understanding.
And Julie Fajgenbaum, CEO of Tweed Wolf, spoke of a mother’s required mastery of “task triage” — the ability to instantly assess priorities among what’s urgent, what’s important, what’s feasible, and what’s too big a task for the moment.
Ironically, many women pointed to how much more efficient motherhood has made them — ruthlessly efficient, said one.
Rachel Ellison, principal of The Reworking Group, said, “I know how to work smarter and faster.”
“I keep my staff on task more effectively.”
“I’m results driven with a new level of efficiency.”
Ellison also commends parenting for giving her a more balanced perspective in her leadership style.
Christie Nicholson, an Entrepreneur-in-Residence at Citi Ventures, credits motherhood with helping her be more calm and steady in chaos, teaching her the joy of extreme patience and the practice of deliberate listening.
One of the most persuasive reasons to elevate more mums to leadership is a mother’s natural shift from “me” to “we”.
“I was much more cutthroat … before children and now I get so much professional pleasure from seeing others succeed, even if it means I suffer in some way,” says Laura Hogan, principal at Pelican Consulting.
Stacy Epstein agrees wholeheartedly.
“I’ve had employees who have gone on to do great things … and it is gratifying to me because their success reflects the success of our company.”
“Seeing others hit their personal goals is the ultimate reward,” Epstein says.
Just like a mum.
* Kristi Faulkner is a creative director, strategist, and co-founder of Gender Fair and strategic marketing firm Womenkind.
This article first appeared at www.forbes.com.
