Alicia Adamczyk* says there’s no easy way to change our ingrown mindsets about money but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Photo: Michael Longmire
When it comes to money, we’re all working from a few negative scripts that can hinder our finances.
And while going off-script is hard, it is possible.
Today’s question is from Kristin: “I come from a family that was poor and HORRIBLE with money, but I’ve been able to get my shit together to buy a house, pay off all of my credit card and consumer debt, and build the beginnings of a retirement account.”
“I’ve also busted my arse to have a great job that pays me well.”
“The problem is I know I don’t know jack about how to make my money make money and I’m frankly paralysed with fear about finding a financial advisor that I can trust and will help me.”
“I’ve read the articles about how to find a trustworthy advisor and I’m still terrified that it could end in disaster for me.”
“I’m equally terrified about what could happen if I don’t find an advisor.”
“Is it OK to just start with the guys at my credit union?”
“What do I need to watch out for?”
“More generally, how do I get out of a poverty mentality and figure out how the hell to have and manage money without being in constant fear?”
Changing your money mindset
The difficult part of Kristin’s question isn’t about finding a financial advisor — that’s straightforward enough.
What seems to be the bigger issue underlying the question is her relationship to money.
There’s no easy way to change our money mindsets — what we experience growing up and the lessons we learn then will stay with us for life.
But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to build better habits, as Kristin clearly already has.
First, recognise that you’ve done well by yourself: a house, zero debt and a burgeoning retirement account are nothing to sniff at.
It’s truly impressive — give yourself some credit.
And since you’ve done so much already, there’s no reason to believe you’d screw it all up now.
Kristin doesn’t seem to have confidence in her ability to manage money and make decisions beyond the basics, like which retirement account to open — a feeling that obviously stems from how she grew up.
But it doesn’t take any special skill set to be “good” at personal finance, and you don’t need to worry so much about making mistakes that you do nothing, or default to what makes you comfortable already (in this case, a credit union).
You’ll need to do research, sure, but anyone can do that.
What Kristin is lacking is the confidence to do so.
Likely, she doesn’t want to end up back where she was when she was growing up.
That’s a real consideration, and it’s sensible to be cautious.
But it’s also not a healthy mentality, because Kristin’s money could be better maximised, but more importantly, because of the stress it’s clearly causing her.
It won’t be easy to suddenly make yourself more confident, but there are many resources available.
The right financial advisor may also be able to help you with your money mindset — and you definitely don’t just want to trust whoever works at your local credit union.
* Alicia Adamczyk writes about money for Lifehacker. She tweets at @AliciaAdamczyk and her website is tinyletter.com/moneymoves.
This article first appeared at www.lifehacker.com.au.
