Bruce Kasanoff says that in these long days when we must keep our distance, small acts of kindness have never been more important — or more appreciated.
In normal times, positive feedback is a nice thing to offer someone, but these are not normal times.
What you say to other people becomes critically important when pretty much the only interactions you have are talking from a distance.
Unfortunately, many people stumble when it comes to complimenting or uplifting others.
Done superficially or too frequently, your attempts to be positive could backfire.
You probably know someone who constantly congratulates you on a job well done, which only reinforces that they have idea what you actually do.
Don’t be that person.
When you compliment someone, have a genuine reason for doing so.
To that end, when possible also explain what motivated you to approach that person.
At my sister-in-law’s house — back in the days when it was legal to go to my sister-in-law’s house — I once admired a sculpture it appeared that she had bought from a professional artist.
The artwork was highly creative and beautifully done, but it turned out that my teenage nephew had created it, and my jaw dropped (he witnessed this).
I then asked him how he came up with the idea, how he created it, etc.
To be clear, I didn’t do this to be polite; I did it out of genuine interest and amazement.
Watch carefully for opportunities to say something positive and personal.
Now, more than ever, even basic tasks require extraordinary effort.
Example: It’s hard to get your weekly report out while home schooling your kids and trying to stop the dog from barking at the recycling truck.
This is the step that most people skip… they offer praise when some action jumps up and grabs their attention, but they don’t go looking for such actions.
Pay attention to what others are having to go through to get even the basics done.
Try to imagine what their life must be like today.
By the way, I’m not just talking about people who work for you. You can offer praise to friends, colleagues or family members.
Finally, I suggest that you replace criticism with restraint… especially when we are all under extraordinarily stressful circumstances.
If someone lets you down, either say nothing or tell them without being critical.
I figure that on any given day, 80 per cent of the people I know are okay, but at least 20 per cent are not — and who is struggling will shift from day to day.
Bear in mind that even the most capable of us are going to make more mistakes and have more “careless” oversights than normal.
One last note: As I was putting the finishing touches on this piece, my friends, Molly Tschang and David Cowen, both checked in on me.
That made me feel they both are paying attention to how I’m doing in a genuine and caring manner.
Aspire to be like them: Pay attention, and really care.
*Bruce Kasanoff is an executive coach and social media ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. He can be contacted at kasanoff.com.
This article first appeared at kasanoff.com.
