Katie Sears* says there are many ways we can act as allies for our LGBTQ+ co-workers and help fight discrimination.
In work and in life we frequently hear that we can’t just “talk the talk” but that we also need to “walk the walk.”
This phrase is used to describe situations in which it’s critical our actions and behaviours align with what we’ve said.
Being an LGBTQ+ ally is no different, especially when it comes to allyship in the workplace.
The Dalai Lama may have said it best when he said, “It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act.”
What is an ally?
If you Google what it means to be an LGBTQ+ ally, you’ll get a multitude of results.
In the most basic terms, an ally is someone in alliance with a certain party who has a personal commitment to benefiting that party yet is not a member of the party themselves.
In modern terms, an ally is typically someone who fights oppression and prejudice by using their own privilege and position to push progress.
Luckily, anyone can be an ally.
However, this isn’t necessarily an easy task.
True allyship cannot be self-defined; if our efforts and actions are not recognised or appreciated by the people we’re seeking to help, then we are not truly being allies.
Allyship requires us to walk the walk, keep the promise, and act out of compassion.
Without action our words exist only in theory, swirling around computer screens and email threads but never making a difference for the groups we’ve claimed to support.
Why are allies important?
People who support or work as LGBTQ+ advocates allow individuals to feel comfortable being themselves.
We spend approximately one-third of our lives at work.
This means we spend about the same amount of time with our colleagues talking, sharing, collaborating, and producing results.
We are all here trying to be our most productive selves.
For LGBTQ+ employees, feeling the need to hide certain parts of themselves at work creates tension and even anxiety.
When an ally creates the space for open and non-judgmental dialogue, especially in front of other non-LGBTQ+ co-workers, these tensions are eased, employees feel supported, and coming to work becomes a pleasant and welcoming experience.
Allies also play the important role of magnifying the voices of marginalised groups.
Because of the inherent privileges that come with being in the majority (more access to leadership, less fear of discrimination or retribution, sheer volume of voices) allies have the unique ability to make the needs of the marginalised more visible to the eyes (and ears) of important decision-makers.
How can I be an ally at work?
There are infinite ways to be an ally at work.
Some behaviours and actions may be more impactful than others, and no one can be the real judge of that except the person or group you’re trying to help.
There are steps you can take to be a better ally to those around you, and no first step is better than asking your supported what you can do for them.
Then, go out and do it.
Here are some specific ways in which you can be an ally at work.
Gendered greetings are deeply ingrained, but not all of us prefer the traditional male or female gender binary.
Unless you’re totally sure of someone’s gender try using a more gender-neutral greeting at work.
This excludes greetings like “Hey guys,” or, “How’s it going, ladies?”
Using more neutral terms like “folks” helps everyone feel welcome and allows space for all types of gender expression to flow freely.
Additionally, use preferred pronouns and names appropriately and remind your co-workers to do the same.
Educate yourself on LGBTQ+ issues.
By staying abreast of current events, you will be acutely aware of issues the LGBTQ+ community is experiencing in real time, which can indicate rough times when it might be necessary to show extra compassion.
Empower yourself to act upon what you’ve learned and advocate for your marginalised co-workers in the workplace.
Join an employee resource group for LGBTQ+ employees.
If you don’t already have one in your office, consider teaming up with your LGBTQ+ work community and creating one.
Speak up when you hear something unacceptable.
You have the strength and ability to call out individuals who make jokes, slights, or have indecent conversations that negatively impact our LGBTQ+ co-workers.
You can talk to HR if necessary.
The only way to create a safe environment is to take a stand against intolerable behaviour.
Learn about your implicit biases and acknowledge them.
Whether due to nature or nurture we all have implicit and subconscious biases that we carry around daily.
However, awareness of our own biases allows us to check ourselves.
Amplify the voices of our LGBTQ+ co-workers and leaders in meetings and over email.
Ensure that every conversation and relationship you’re a part of feels like an open and welcome space for all LGBTQ-identifying folks to join.
Lastly, be visible and open about your allyship.
Support cannot live in the dark or in our comfort zones.
Remember that ally is not just a noun, but a verb — it takes consistent effort and you may at times find yourself in the spotlight of some uncomfortable situations.
Being an ally is not always easy, but it is always worth it.
* Katie Sears is Program Manager for Global Enablement with SAP Concur.
This article first appeared at news.sap.com.
