Ian Crocker* outlines some of the reasons people seek coaching — and the unexpected advantages they can gain from it.
Many people still don’t know what coaching is and have not tried it.
For those who have experienced the benefits, a coaching session is often the best time for them to stop and think.
It can give them the space in which they can take stock and think properly.
Coaching is a process of partnering and support.
It’s not about an expert turning up with the solutions to your problems and telling you how to solve them.
Coaches use techniques to help you to figure out your own solutions, responses, desires and ways of achieving a goal and the life, career or business that you want.
Coaching is always forward focused.
It’s about looking to where you want to go — applying for that promotion, nailing that challenging project, addressing those nagging issues with your team.
It focuses on how to get you there, rather than looking back at what might have stopped you in the past.
Along the way you will probably learn a lot about yourself.
Active listening is essential in coaching.
A coach will listen to you for what you are saying and for what you are not saying.
Just being heard is really powerful. A coach knows that everything you say is important.
They will play back the essence of what they hear you say, allowing you to hear your own words, which you may not actually notice as you say them.
Spending time with a coach will actually slow your life down for the time that you are with them, as they ask you questions that allow you to think about your situation from a different angle.
Coaches ask powerful questions to help you to stop and think.
“What would you do if you could do that?”
There is no judgment in coaching.
There is just the coach holding up a mirror to show you how you talk about yourself and your life.
It’s what they notice, for example how you respond or change when you say certain words or phrases; or the language that you use when you talk about a certain aspect of your life or work.
Many people approach coaching with a particular issue that they want to work on.
A good coach will use playing back and questioning to help you get completely clear on your goal and where you want to get to.
Coaching can bring up emotions and issues that lie beneath the surface.
The process can be amazingly powerful in helping you to move on in your life and your work.
Coaching gives you a safe place, so that you can open up and really see how you might be holding yourself back with, for example, limiting beliefs and unhelpful stories.
We tell ourselves stories that we don’t even hear most of the time.
A coach notices them and can help you to open up and see different options and possibilities.
Another surprising benefit of coaching is that you start the work just by making the appointment with a coach and turning up to the session.
It is the gift that you have allowed yourself — the possibility that you can be the best that you can be and it starts by committing to the work.
Above all, coaching is about change: Changing yourself, your business or your life.
You can use coaching to find confidence and self-belief, to find your voice and to get the support that you need, to be able to move forward.
A coach can show you what you’re capable of achieving.
If you’re offered coaching by your employer, grab the opportunity straight away.
If you’re not offered coaching, seek it out anyway.
I spoke at a conference last year and afterwards, one of the delegates asked me for my support.
He works at a school and has responsibility for all the non-academic areas, including finance, IT, marketing, HR, building maintenance and catering.
He was proud of being a hands-on manager but was becoming overwhelmed.
It was just like he had too many tabs open on his laptop, so it was running too slowly.
He knew this year could be tougher as he would have to build a relationship with a new head teacher.
He really needed someone to talk to, to listen to him and support him.
I helped him to see that he needed to delegate more to his team — handing over the work that he really needed someone else to do.
I also helped him to think strategically, looking at the bigger picture as well as dealing with day-to-day issues.
He saw that he needed to step up from being operational and using his technical skills to spend more time actually managing his team.
My coaching sessions are spent with me asking my clients questions and listening when they need to talk.
Giving them that space and support always allows them to find the best solution to their challenges and to move on.
*Ian Crocker runs Absolute Learning, a company of learning and development specialists with experience helping organisations, teams and individuals achieve more. He can be contacted at www.absolutelearning.co.uk.
This article first appeared on Ian’s blogsite.
