By Haley Goldberg*
We’re in a golden age of tracking: we track our steps, our sleep, our time on Facebook and other sites we deem “productivity killers”.
But one thing we still don’t track or think about much: the amount of time we spend worrying.
We spend a lot of time worrying.
A 2017 survey of 2,000 millennials showed that the average respondent spent the equivalent of 63 full days a year worried and stressed out.
There are many reasons why we worry, but one of the main ones is simply because we can.
Unlike other animals, we have the power to look into the future — with all its uncertainty and fuzziness — and reflect.
And that stirs up the worry machine as we try to figure out what’s going to happen and how we’ll react.
It can feel productive, and studies show that we often believe worrying helps prevent negative outcomes or helps us find a better way of doing things.
But here’s the thing: most of what we worry about never happens.
A study from the University of Cincinnati showed that 85 per cent of what we worry about never actually happens.
And the 15 per cent of things that do happen?
The study showed we’re typically able to handle it better than expected or it teaches us an important lesson, according to The Huffington Post.
Ease the worry
So, let’s all just stop worrying, OK?
Just kidding — reaching inbox zero with our worries is actually impossible.
We’re wired to have some level of worry to protect ourselves — it’s why we look both ways before crossing the streets.
But the constant worrying about things that haven’t happened or things that aren’t even on the menu for the near future?
We can take steps to curb overthinking.
It’s important to recognise that “worry” and “anxiety” are close friends but very different psychological states.
Psychology Today offers a great breakdown of the differences.
If you feel overwhelmed by your worries or in anxiety territory, it might be time to seek help from a professional.
As someone who worries and has anxiety, I can’t recommend therapy enough.
But now, some tips for the casual worrywart.
Turn your ‘what if’ into ‘I can’
Even if we know most of our worries won’t come to fruition, it is still hard to let go of our “what if” scenarios.
What can help: refocusing from the “what if” to the “I can”.
By that I mean “I can problem solve” or “I can handle it”.
Dwelling on issues isn’t productive — but problem solving is.
“Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem,” psychotherapist Amy Morin told Psychology Today.
“Ask yourself what you can do about it.”
But some slippery worries don’t come with a solution — they’re so far in the future, we can’t even take steps in the now.
In those cases, it’s helpful to release a little control and focus on “I can handle it”.
Set a time to worry
Setting a designated time to worry can help you cut back on overthinking and recognise how much time you give those might-happen-but-probably-won’t-but-here’s-what-I’d-do-if-it-did thoughts.
It’s a great way to ease into cutting back on worrying without forcing yourself to go cold turkey.
“Stewing on problems for long periods isn’t productive, but brief reflection can be helpful,” Morin explains.
Morin recommends setting aside 20 minutes of “thinking time” each day.
“During this time, let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you want,” she writes.
“Then, when the time is up, move onto something more productive.”
Call your worries out
We tend to love tracking our habits and finding ways to optimise our time.
But worrying essentially goes against that goal to get more done in less time.
Reminding myself of how unproductive it is to worry actually helps me calm it down.
As much as it can feel like worry is motivating me, or it shows that I care about something, I know 99 per cent of the time it’s stopping me from actually living my life.
When a worry pops up, I like to challenge it with a “Is this useful?”
It helps me connect back to the present me — the “me” who actually has things to do and people to see — and it helps me dismiss the worries that don’t serve me.
I’ve accepted that I’ll never “stop worrying” — I’m a proud worrywart for life.
But like my FitBit shows me how much time I spend sitting, noticing my worries helps me see the time I lose to irrational “what ifs.”.
Now, I’m starting to reclaim that time.
* Haley Goldberg is a content strategist at Shine Text in New York. She tweets at @haleyslone.
This article first appeared at advice.shinetext.com.
