May Busch* says facing up to a performance review may seem like a visit to the doctor, but there are ways to use the feedback to an advantage.
I’d been dreading this doctor’s appointment for days.
What a mistake to arrive early only to have to sit in the waiting room with my biggest fears.
What would she say about my test results? Would I need surgery? What if it was the worst-case scenario?
Finally, I was ushered into the doctor’s office. The doctor opened my file and said: “It’s good news, May. There are just a few precautions I want to take.”
In the rush of relief, all I could think of was getting out of the office and going home. The rest of the appointment was a blur.
So when my husband later asked what the doctor said about causes and prevention, I had no idea.
Not only couldn’t I recall her instructions about what to do next, I forgot to ask about what caused the issue in the first place.
Just as stress hormones flooded my brain making it impossible to think in the doctor’s office, the same can happen when you’re about to receive your performance review.
Whether you welcome feedback or feel fearful of receiving it, there’s an art to handling the conversation well.
Listen like it’s someone else they’re talking about
It’s hard not to feel fearful and anxious when you’re about to hear feedback about your performance.
When you’re in fear mode, you can’t think straight or make good decisions.
It’s the very mindset that will keep you from getting the most from the session because one of the criteria for getting ahead could be reacting well to feedback.
This is the time to channel your inner Mr Spock (the logical Vulcan in Star Trek) and not let emotion take over.
Listen as though it’s a neutral third party your boss or reviewer is talking about.
Take a few rhythmic breaths and allow your clear-thinking brain to do the listening so you can answer these questions for yourself:
What is my boss trying to tell me? What’s being said and, reading between the lines, what isn’t being said? Am I clear on how to improve?
Get clear on what they really mean
By tapping into your logical brain, you’ll be in a better position to understand what’s truly being said.
Sometimes you have to do a little digging to make the feedback into something you can work with.
This is where having the presence of mind to ask clarifying questions is essential.
Asking questions will help you form a full picture of what you need to do to keep advancing in your career.
Agree the action steps you can take
If the feedback isn’t clear, you won’t be able to form a plan of action. Without taking action, you won’t improve.
This isn’t the time to go back and lick your wounds.
Instead, you’ll benefit from getting your boss (or reviewer) on board to help you with your action plan. This has several benefits.
First, they’ll know you’ve understood the feedback and want to do something about it.
Second, they’ll feel more invested in you and your career if they’ve helped you improve.
Third, they’ll be more likely to pay attention to your progress and notice once you’ve changed.
What if your boss doesn’t give you feedback in the first place?
This is when you’ll need to initiate the conversation. If your boss is allergic to formal feedback sessions, you can make it an informal chat.
You could conduct your own set of conversations with key stakeholders.
You might just impress some of them with your initiative and even find a mentor or sponsor in the process.
Just don’t let them leave it at: “Keep doing what you’re doing.”
By definition, what got you to where you are now won’t be what gets you to the next level.
While it’s a warm fuzzy feeling to know you’re doing great and all you need to do is keep doing more of the same, acting on that advice will set you up to be trapped in your current role.
Remember, feedback is a gift, so don’t forget to say thank you, and don’t argue or get defensive.
Whatever the feedback is, you’ll be better off knowing.
*May Busch’s mission is to help leaders and their organisations achieve their full potential. She can be contacted at [email protected].
This article first appeared at maybusch.com.
