Kattie Thorndyke* says most people are doing networking all wrong.
If you absolutely dread networking, then you’re probably doing it all wrong.
Chances are that your intentions are a little backward and you’re expecting too much right off the bat.
Networking is a long game, and there are a few things you might have been taught that are all wrong.
So let’s identify and rewrite these networking no-nos.
Social media connections aren’t networking
While there is functionality to converse in the DMs, most of the content you share is one-way sharing.
Simply adding someone on LinkedIn or Facebook is the same thing as grabbing someone’s card at a networking event.
Sure, you have a way of contacting them, but you haven’t done anything to build a connection.
But then what? Social media connections typically aren’t built on the deep meaningful conversations required for quality networking, as Ravi Shukle, a social media and relationship marketing expert, explains.
“Most business executives prefer to communicate face to face, according to Forbes magazine.
“That’s because it’s easier to build meaningful relationships that way.
“You need that human connection! You can feed off each other’s energy and passions.”
Selling first kills the opportunity to build a relationship
Even when you’re focused on in-person connections, you can make the mistake of coming on too strong, and looking for the “sale” right away.
In this case, selling doesn’t necessarily mean landing a contract, signing someone up for your service, or literally selling them a product.
It means trying to get what you want out of the relationship right away.
If you really hit it off with something, you’ll naturally talk about your businesses and how things are going professionally.
People need to know what you’re about and to trust you before they are likely to do you a favour, connect you to their team, or help you land an interview at their organisation.
If you lead with an ask, people will back away and you missed out on a great connection.
“When people meet to network, they try to instantly sell or try to get into the list of contacts people have taken years to build.
This makes people raise their guard,” said Carl Barton of the business coaching firm Stretch Development.
You are only interested in those that can do something for you
Similar to the misconception above, many people are quick to discount a networking connection just because right now they can’t do anything to further your career.
But if you feel a good vibe when you meet them for the first time, keep in touch.
It’s the values and rapport you build that you want to maintain while networking.
It’s about slowly building a community of allies, not just mining for possible leverage and then discarding a great friendship.
“People will spend countless hours meeting with potential strategic partners and decide in one meeting a person is not worth keeping in touch with.
Building a networking ally takes time and energy,” said April Jaffe, sales and marketing consultant for Raise Your Game.
“My advice: qualify in your first meeting if you like the person and give them a chance to show their value and yours.”
You only attend events/online gatherings for your industry
Most people attend events that are created around their own industry.
You’ve got notices from the professional organisations you’re a part of, company social events around holidays, and even mentorship get-togethers for those who are looking to be in your line of work.
It’s easy.
You just select which events to attend, and you go, but you’re missing out on massive diversification.
Bonus Tip:
When you’re working remotely, join in those coffee chats your company offers or that lunchtime yoga class you’ve been wanting to take.
You never know who you might connect with when you open yourself up to new experiences.
You only network when you need a new job
Think of networking as a crucial puzzle piece to your own professional growth.
And something you should be working on constantly, not selectively.
You can’t engage in networking only when you need a job.
First of all, people can smell desperation.
Second, you won’t be approaching the conversation from the most genuine and reciprocal manner.
It might actually backfire on you if you are looking for a new job.
Networking is a long game, and it’s about you opening doors and helping others as much as they help you.
If you lead with what’s in it for you, you might not get anything at all.
“Networking is more than just looking for your next asset to land a job.
Networking is about making meaningful connections and then providing help when your connections need aid,” said Randstad Risesmart
Rejecting an invite because of someone’s job title
Just because someone’s current title on LinkedIn is Administrative Assistant or Junior Engineer, doesn’t mean you should write them off as a connection.
In fact, it’s quite a short-sighted approach to networking.
You’re the one losing out when you judge someone else’s status.
“But that’s a short-sighted mentality – everyone I speak to is valuable and you never know who else people know, or what journey they are on.
Networking with that mindset has given me a powerful black book of people for whom I have created opportunities, and who have done the same for me,” Emma Sexton, the co-founder of Flock, a global network for entrepreneurs with over 300 members, which holds monthly meet-ups and international trade trips.
All networking does not require a coffee chat
Certainly in the current COVID era, meeting in person isn’t always feasible.
But even when restrictions ease, do you really want to go back to meeting every connection for a coffee chat just to be polite?
If you tend to always say yes, then you’ll likely need to reschedule a few of these meetings because you’re overcommitted, which doesn’t look great for a first meeting.
Try out an old-fashioned phone call or a Zoom meetup to get a feel for if you both share the same values and can help each other out.
Going to a networking event without a plan is a mistake
If there’s someone you really want to connect with, then you need to do your research on them or their company.
By identifying any issues or problems you could help solve, you’ll be starting off on the right foot–giving help rather than asking for something.
You’ll also appear prepared; much better than just winging it with a canned question or elevator pitch for yourself.
*Kattie Thorndyke is a Professional Engineer who’s focused on technical writing and blogging about careers, books, and business. She writes about engineering, automotive, tech, careers, and business.
This article first appeared at ladders.com.
