Rania H. Anderson* says there are too few stories about the positive impact women leaders have on the careers of men.
Photo: izusek
There’s so much buzz about male allies.
Conversations, studies, and presentations about mentors and sponsors are almost always about how leaders who are men can help women.
These narratives are important and necessary, of course.
But they also offer a narrow definition of leadership, portraying men as the heroes in a story where women need help.
The reality is that just as women benefit from male mentors, sponsors, and allies, men also gain from the mentorship, leadership, and sponsorship of women.
But stories about women leaders are scarce, and they often narrowly focus on how women help each other.
Even more rare are examples of the positive impact women leaders have on the careers of men.
This imbalance reinforces negative bias about the ability of women to lead and contributes to the scarcity of women at the top.
In fact, examples of women leaders mentoring and sponsoring men, and investing in and advancing the businesses of men, do exist.
For organisations, economies, and people to get the demonstrated dividend that comes from gender-balanced leadership teams, we have to eliminate inaccurate, persistent perceptions about women as leaders.
One way to do that is to observe and tell stories about how women leaders benefit men.
As Dr Alice Eagly, a psychology professor who studies stereotypes, said: “Stereotypes change when people get new observations.”
“They form because of what people experience in daily life, what people see.”
In this spirit, I wanted to share a few of the experiences relayed to me by men and women whom I have worked with.
Their stories illustrate how all around us and on a daily basis, women leaders invest in and help to advance men in their careers and businesses.
Take Beth, a market president for a regional bank who found a way to leverage a commercial lending officer’s strengths in a way her male counterparts had not.
“He was considered a low performer and was essentially written off by male leaders at the bank and left alone to figure out how to meet his goals,” Beth recounted.
She identified where his talents and expertise did lie, and where his strengths complemented hers.
She restructured his role so that he could make a positive contribution at the bank.
She explained: “We now work in concert and closely together.”
“Our collaboration and the combination of both our skills have led to us bring in new clients and provide better service to our current clients.”
“He, the bank, and I have benefited.”
John Whitaker, an architect and a Master’s candidate at Washington University in St Louis, explained that, unlike his previous male bosses and mentors, Jacqueline, his thesis advisor, didn’t focus on competition or him obtaining more knowledge than his colleagues.
“I’d never had a female boss or mentor until last year,” John said.
“Unlike what I had been used to under male bosses/mentors, Jacqueline showed me that when you learn together and share your knowledge with others, you succeed together.”
He also described how Jacqueline taught him about managing personal and professional demands.
“She took people as a whole package and worked together with all their complexity, openly accepting both the personal and professional parts of them,” he told me.
“I have a two-year-old son and Jacqueline would encourage me to bring my son to the studio when I needed to because my wife travels internationally for work.”
Darcy Howe, a founding member and investor in the Women’s Capital Connection, has been investing in women-led businesses for more than 10 years.
But as a venture capitalist, she has also invested in 23 businesses run by men.
What she’s learned about how they view her has been illuminating.
“What male entrepreneurs tell me I do differently is that while I am as direct as their male VCs, I voice my concerns with empathy for how hard things are for them,” she said.
“I connect them to the other funders, corporations, expertise, coaches, and resources they need to be successful.”
“The approach I take encourages and builds them up so they can persevere and grow their business.”
Finally, Ewan MacDougall, a former Marine who became a diplomat, described his experience working for former US Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch in glowing terms.
“I’m uncertain about ascribing differences in my managers’ styles to gender,” he said, “but I do know this: Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch is the most impressive leader and diplomat I’ve ever worked with.”
“Her mind works at a pace few can keep up with, yet she always went out of her way to build an inclusive team.”
“I strive to emulate her excellence as a highly prepared, inclusive leader who taps into the full potential of each member of the team and cares about each individual as well as the mission as a whole.”
“I know these traits will serve me well throughout my career.”
These stories and many more can help change the narrative of women needing the support of men to succeed.
Everyone needs strong mentors, sponsors, and leaders in their careers.
Yes, we need men to sponsor and help advance women, and we need women to do the same for one another.
But it’s time we tell more stories of women leaders developing, supporting, and advancing men in unexpected and powerful ways, too.
* Rania H. Anderson is an international keynote speaker, author and executive business coach. Her website is thewaywomenwork.com.
This article first appeared at hbr.org
