Sonia McDonald* says that super heroes exist only in comic books and in the movies and trying to be one in the real world is only going to lead to stress and tears.
This is a daily conversation when I meet with people.
“You are a superhero and I don’t know how you do it and how you juggle everything”.
Do you feel like this?
The need to be a super hero just to juggle everything?
I don’t know why I look away when someone says to me: “I don’t know how you do it.”
I really don’t know how to respond. I just do it. However, there are days when I think the same thing.
There are days where I feel I need to get my cape out of my wardrobe and be that super hero.
My daughter even bought me a Wonder Woman cape from Movie World; it made me smile.
There are days where I feel like I need to stop feeling like I need to be a super hero and just be me.
The last few years have been the toughest I have ever encountered.
I am a full-time single mum who is working incredibly hard to build, run and grow a company with a teenage daughter with deliberating mental health issues.
For those parents who say it gets easier, I say when?
I truly love what I do, however my greatest learning is that I am not a super hero.
Even though it is so important to believe you can achieve and do anything you put your mind to, it is important that we also need to understand we are human.
I keep hearing stories from so many people who feel overwhelmed and are working in full-on executive jobs, juggling kids and family, fitting in life, meetings, racing around dropping off kids at school, managing staff and just peddling…and so forth.
I feel the constant pressure too.
I need to be a great leader, a great coach, be a great mum, achieve as an entrepreneur, a great friend, daughter, peer…be all these hats when I just want to be me and breath.
I have all these expectations of myself — and those around me at the time do as well.
How do we do it all? We can’t.
A few weeks ago I came back from Melbourne after being a keynote speaker and I crashed.
My body shut down and I was in bed incredibly sick for a week.
I didn’t listen to my body. I thought I could handle the 60-hour week and be that super hero. I was wrong.
Here are my top tips for being you (not super hero you) — but you can still put on the cape).
Great awareness and mindset:
Focus on being you and knowing who you are.
Don’t be someone else and own and accept you.
Focus on your strengths and the difference you bring to the world by being you.
Even super heroes focus on their strengths and mindset.
They also know their areas of weaknesses and don’t let it stop them.
Stop thinking you need it all or can do it all at once:
We can have it all but not at the same time.
Take time off and just be. Meditate and practice mindfulness.
Compassion and self-belief:
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to love yourself (truly and utterly) and have belief and faith in yourself.
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
Confidence is also the best outfit you can wear.
Remember to practice affirmations regularly.
Every week I get my clients to send me their goals and affirmations and it really makes a difference.
Laugh:
Have fun and laugh, laugh, laugh.
Remember, life is too short to take things so seriously, let it go.
Please do things that you love to do like singing, painting, walking, seeing a movie…anything that brings you joy.
Tribe:
Focus on surrounding yourself with people who truly love and support you.
Remember to take care of them and also ask for help if you feel like your super hero powers need some strength.
Practice kindness:
To yourself and to others.
Make a difference to someone else each and every day no matter how small.
Make sure you have amazing and kind thoughts each day.
Leadership is about practicing kindness to those around you – that’s being a super hero.
As Superman said it does take courage to put on the cape — and it takes more courage to take it off and just be you.
By the way, my cape in now in the wash.
*Sonia McDonald is founder of Brisbane-based LeadershipHQ, which builds leaders and organisations through strategy, culture, leadership, performance and change. She can be contacted at soniamcdonald.com.au
This article first appeared on LinkedIn.
