End-of-year reports on the tops and bottoms of weather records are always eagerly sought by the world’s farmers and others, but with global warming (GW) turning up the heat last Christmas (and still squatting in our forests a sweltering month later) the Bureau of Meteorology’s annual verdict for 2019 was pounced on with an unusual enthusiasm. (See it here at this PS News link).
But as one would expect, PS-ssssst!’s irresistible interest was less in the science as in the syntax, and we weren’t disappointed.
While weather scientists from the Bureau’s explosively abbreviated BoM are undoubtedly mathematical masters, their alphabetical adroitness is hardly blowin’ in the wind.
Commenting on the impact GW was having on the Christmas bushfires, a designated BoM spokesperson (which the pest in PS-sssst! cheekily christened ‘G for George’) mangled his mathematics by spokespersoning with the following: “The record warm and dry conditions were one of the key factors influencing fire conditions in large parts of the country….”.
How, PS-sssst! ponders ponderously, can dry conditions (plural) be one factor (singular) influencing fire conditions?
Could climate change be melting our plurals to singles as well?
Watch BoM’s next forecast for the answer– it might be a three-cast!
A wheel world doctor
Credit:pagadesign
From the ridiculous to the sublime now with PS News motoring maestro Paul Gover offering readers the valued chance to air their car’s motoring or mechanical mess with an expert for free and share it with the ‘Car Doctor’ who is only too happy to come to the party.
Already solving a bootfull of questions and queries from panicking readers and pointing them onto the right direction for fixing – or replacing – their troublesome transport, Car Doctor Paul is keen to help as many as he can at no cost and save them hundreds of motoring money dollars along the way.
So, if your vehicle is proving to be vexatious, contact the Car Doctor with your complaint. You’ll be ahhpier mor]triust if you do.
Car Doctor Paul can be accessed at [email protected] and his latest collection of corrections in this edition is at this PS News link where just about everyone of us might learn a thing or two.
Donkey danger
Credit:kotyache
To our strange and improbable ‘You’ve Got to be Kidding’ file comes the intriguing, if head-scratching alleged fact that the world’s donkeys actually kill more people each year than the total number of aircraft crashes and shark attacks combined.
Assuming such an asinine fact to be true, it could account for the American widespread wise word of wisdom, alerting their countrypersons to take care and ‘Watch your ass!’
Questionable?
Top marks to the ACT’s emergency experts for launching a new safety campaign to guide as many people as possible through the festive season untroubled.
Entitled “What Would They Think”, the campaign focuses in on the belief that nobody wants to let down their families, friends and colleagues by being caught misbehaving over the holidays and possibly losing their drivers’ licence or causing some sort of disturbance.
While PS-sssst! sincerely hopes the inspired campaign has realised its goals with the city’s drivers, drinkers, dancers and partygoers responding to the message but we also hope that at least one of the organisers’ eyes are moist in the knowledge that the many pedants in the community will be wondering exactly “What They Must be Thinking” when they learn the name of the campaign.
Trendy marketing or not the question mark is missing from “What Would They Think”, creating a whole new inquisition: “What Were they Thinking?”
Till next week …
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