May Busch* says that all too often it is the fear of failure that prevents talented people from realising their full potential.
What’s holding you back from the success you want in your career and life and how long have you been putting up with it?
What would it mean to you if you could move beyond it?
Maybe something that’s holding you back from living the life you want to lead is external, like your boss who takes credit for your ideas.
Or the job you hate but have to keep doing to support yourself and your family.
Or it could be something internal?
Perhaps it’s the fear of failure (or success) that keeps you playing small, or the tyranny of caring what others think and trying to please people?
While it’s hard to imagine when you’re in the midst of a situation, the reality is that in most cases you don’t have to struggle under whatever or whoever is holding you back.
You can declare independence and take action — the kind of action where you don’t need anyone else’s permission.
There is always an action or choice available to you, even if it is simply to reframe how you’re approaching the situation.
The classic example of this is holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl’s insight in his book Man’s Search for Meaning.
He states that even when every freedom is taken away, you still have the freedom to choose how you look at the situation.
My declaration of independence has been about leaving behind the parts of myself that aren’t serving me well and replacing them with what helps me move forward.
I’ve learned to reframe the things I’m afraid of as opportunities to learn and grow.
I’ve given myself permission to do small experiments before I think I’m ready rather than wait until I’ve dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s.
The key is to choose to take action and do something proactive.
Conversely, if you don’t or won’t take action, then others are likely to see you as just complaining; they may even take advantage of this area of weakness.
Putting together your personal declaration of independence will empower and embolden you to move into the future you want.
It’s simple to create one; even liberating.
Here are some steps to get started.
Choose what’s most holding you back.
Choose the thing that is most holding you back in your life and career.
An easy way to start is with the questions from that childhood guessing game: “Is it a person, place or thing?”
Maybe that person is the proverbial mother-in-law, a bad boss or a ‘frenemy’.
Don’t forget to include yourself on the list.
For decades, I’ve been my own worst enemy in the form of negative self-talk, perfectionism and procrastination.
As for ‘place’, it could be your office environment, your home town or somewhere else where there are aspects that keep you from being your best.
A ‘thing’ could be that extra glass of wine every night or the sugary treat you have at your daily coffee break.
Choose honestly and choose just one to start with.
List all the grievances.
List all the grievances you have with whatever, wherever or whoever you’ve chosen.
Everything that makes you mad, sad or upset and that you no longer want to endure.
Envision the future you want to have.
Make this an energising and attractive future; one that you’re prepared to go into battle for.
The clearer you are on what it looks, feels and sounds like, the more it will act as a beacon that draws you toward it.
Identify the change you need to make.
It could be how you frame the situation you’re in.
Are you seeing it from the perspective of glass half empty or glass half-full?
What’s a more energising way to look at the situation you’re in?
It could be your habits. What do you do, think or say that could be getting in the way?
To what extent could there be a chip on your shoulder that’s driving those thoughts and behaviour that are holding you back?
It could be the assumptions you’re making.
Can you see things from the other person’s perspective and understand why there may be a disconnect?
It could also be the environment you’re in that needs to change.
Sometimes it’s just time to move on, especially when you can honestly say you’ve tried everything but nothing has worked.
Capture your thoughts in writing.
Whether that’s a one-page handwritten manifesto, a set of bullet points saved in your smart phone or something in between.
Keep it where you can refer to it regularly so you can be reminded of your ‘why’ and stay the course.
* May Busch helps leaders and their organisations achieve their full potential. She can be contacted at [email protected].
This article first appeared on May’s blogsite.
