May Busch* says most people will attend many meetings in the course of their careers, so it is essential to master the art of speaking up early on.
Are you an experienced meeting master, someone who hates them, or somewhere in between?
Whichever camp you’re in, meetings are important opportunities to show others what you know, how you think and what you’re like.
In many cases, meetings are where your colleagues and senior managers will spend the most time with you.
Yet, speaking up at meetings can be stressful and pressure-filled.
You’re ‘on show’ and must perform at your best.
However, that way of thinking makes it hard to come across well, especially when you’re new to the team, role or organisation.
When it’s with a group of experienced people and subject matter experts, it only adds to the nerves.
To speak in meetings with confidence and authority, here are three steps I’ve found helpful in my career.
Manage Your Mindset:
Instead of putting so much pressure on yourself to perform at meetings, how could you reframe them to be more energising for you?
It can be extremely valuable to get a new person’s thoughts to keep group think from taking hold.
Also remind yourself before each meeting that you’re there to learn as well as share your thoughts.
It’s not about critiquing each other or yourself.
In my case, the critique was always harshest coming from myself.
The conversations in my own mind were far worse than anything my colleagues had to dish out.
That self-editing was ultimately harmful to my career because I came across as quiet and lacking in ideas as well as confidence.
Hardly the mark of the future leader I wanted to be.
Then there is simple fear — the oldest part of your brain trying to protect you from harm.
It means well, but now that there are no life-threatening sabre-toothed tigers lurking out there, those instincts no longer serve us quite so well.
To defuse that natural instinct of fear, I recommend that you acknowledge it, thank it for doing its job, and tell it that it can go now.
Prepare Your Points:
It helps to pre-prepare what points you want to make, especially if you want to establish yourself as an expert.
One way that’s worked well for me is to use the ‘rule of three’.
This comes from research that shows the human brain can only keep three ideas at a time.
When you go beyond that, people won’t retain everything you say.
So make it a habit to bucket everything you want to convey into no more than three ideas.
There’s elegance to having three points – like the three legs of a stool.
When it comes to making your points, think about the words and phrases you want to use.
Do they make your point powerfully or do they make you sound tentative?
Which words and phrases do you want to use? Which do you want to avoid?
For example: “In my experience…” conveys authority while “I guess…” does not.
If you’re talking to a group of analytical people, they’re more likely to respond well to “I think…” rather than “I feel…”
It would be the other way around for a more emotionally attuned group. “I believe…” can work for both groups.
When you start with an apology like: “I may be completely off base but…” you undermine everything that you say afterwards.
Instead, get in the habit of going straight to your point without a long preamble.
There’s nothing like practicing out loud to help you feel confident in what you’re going to say.
There’s something about hearing yourself make the point that builds confidence.
If you find it hard to break into the conversation during the meeting, ask the meeting organiser to give you a slot on the agenda.
Or enlist the help of a colleague to ask for your input during the meeting.
Stay Present to Spot Opportunities:
Every meeting has three parts to it — the beginning, middle and end.
The kind of comments and questions that happen in each part are a little different.
The key is to recognise where you’re most comfortable speaking up.
The beginning is an easy time to make a point because you can be sure no one else will have made it yet — it’s like walking on fresh snow.
If you’re nervous about speaking up, then jumping in right away is the key.
The middle is a great time to build on someone else’s point, share your three points, answer a question or ask a question.
The end is a great place to show your authority by synthesising and summarising what’s been said and drawing the meeting to a close.
This is also a more advanced way to contribute, so cut yourself some slack as you practice this skill.
As you go through the meeting, a great way to keep your energy and confidence up is to manage your physiology.
I find that breathing is the most important because your brain needs oxygen to function well and breathing rhythmically has been shown to calm the nervous system.
Physical movement is also helpful to reduce stress and manage your nerves.
This could look like getting up to get something to drink or stretching while you’re in your chair.
It’s also about keeping good posture so you’ll look and feel more alert, and your voice will carry so you can be heard.
When it comes to speaking up in meetings, what matters is that you jump in and start experimenting.
The longer you stay silent, the harder it will feel to speak up.
You’re going to be in a lot of meetings in your career, so why not get going and make friends with the experience?
* May Busch helps leaders and their organisations achieve their full potential. She can be contacted at [email protected].
This article first appeared on May’s blogsite
