Travis Bradberry* urges caution when having casual conversations with co-workers — even those you consider friends. What you say can come back to bite you.
At work, sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right way is an art form.
Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-no’s with hindsight.
Trouble is, you can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues.
Doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.
You must know where the line is and be careful not to cross it, because once you share something, there is no going back.
Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this ability shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.
They know better than to reveal any of the following, because these things will send their career careening in the wrong direction.
Your political beliefs
People’s political beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work.
Disagreeing with someone else’s views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you.
Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.
Granted, different people treat politics differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others.
Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything on your end because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict.
That you think someone is incompetent
There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are.
If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude.
Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better.
How much money you make
Your parents may love to hear all about how much you’re pulling in, but in the workplace, this only breeds negativity.
It’s impossible to allocate salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your co-workers a direct measure of comparison.
It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other the same way again.
That you hate your job
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job.
Doing so labels you as a negative person who is not a team player.
Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.
What you do in the bedroom
Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work.
Such comments will get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable, and even offended.
What you think someone else does in the bedroom
People you work with do not want to know that you bet they’re tigers in the sack.
There’s no more sure-fire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life have entered your brain.
Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right; just keep it to yourself.
How wild you used to be
Just because you did something outlandish or stupid years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then.
Some behaviour that might qualify as just another day at university shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t know where to draw the line.
Many Presidents have been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavoury past to yourself.
That you’re job hunting
When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks.
For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench.
It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here”.
I was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.
The same thing happens when you tell people that you’re job hunting.
Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time.
There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone.
*Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. He can be contacted at talentsmart.com.
This article first appeared at talentsmart.com
