Jory Mckay* offers a simple guide to making ourselves heard at work, no matter who we’re talking to and regardless of their communication style.
It’s safe to say you’ve left at least one meeting, call, or customer visit and thought to yourself, “What the heck was that person talking about?”
Clear and effective communication is one of the easiest ways to reduce workplace stress, boost productivity, and build better relationships with your co-workers.
But dealing with communication styles different to your own can feel like trying to talk to an alien species.
Dealing with people who speak differently to you is stressful.
While everyone communicates differently, most of us fall into a few different buckets when it comes to our preferred communication style.
Do a basic Google search of communication styles and you’re bound to come up with a few takes.
There are the classics: assertive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and passive.
Then you have a more linguistic approach, which places competitive against affiliative communicators and direct versus indirect.
Finally, there’s even something called DISC (Dominant, Influencer, Steady, and Conscientious).
The problem with all these approaches, however, is that it’s easier to see their qualities in ourselves than in others.
Even worse, they don’t tell us much about how we should communicate with them.
A new way to think about communication styles
One better approach is the communication styles defined by best-selling author and leadership coach Mark Murphy: Analytical, Intuitive, Functional, and Personal.
Murphy’s approach focuses on the key information each style is looking for in a conversation and how you can best communicate with them.
As he explains, “No one communication style is inherently better than another.”
“But picking the wrong style for a particular audience, whether it’s one person or a thousand, shuts down listening and can spell trouble.”
“Learning to build flexibility around your preferred style allows others to more successfully hear the important things you need to communicate.”
Analytical: Lovers of hard data and clearly defined tasks
As an analytical communicator, you love hard data, numbers, and specific language.
As such, you’re usually wary of people who deal in vague language and strictly blue-sky ideas and get drained quickly when conversations move from logical to emotional.
One example Murphy gives is of being in a meeting and hearing that “sales are positive.”
An analytical communicator would likely think, “What does positive mean? Give me a number!”
One clear advantage of being analytical is that communication is largely logical and unemotional, which can speed things up.
The flip side is you might come across as cold and aggravated when someone wants to talk about anything beyond getting from A to B.
How to work with an analytical communication style
Try to:
- Provide as much detail upfront as possible.
- Set clear expectations.
- Give them space to work independently.
Avoid:
- Turning the conversation emotional (use “I know” or “I think” rather than “I feel”).
- Framing feedback on their work as criticism.
Intuitive: The big-picture thinkers
Instead of data, details, and concrete steps, the intuitive communication style thrives on big-picture ideas.
Linear order, step-by-step instructions, and deep dives into the details aren’t important.
Instead, they’re more interested in broad overviews.
This can be great if you’re having a conversation that needs a quick answer.
Or if you’re looking for out-of-the-box approaches to issues.
However, when nuance and subtlety matter, it can feel like trying to fix a Swiss watch with a hammer.
How to work with an intuitive communication style
Try to:
- Stick to the main topic and keep it high-level.
- Be prepared to answer follow-up questions.
- Keep details to a minimum (you can always follow up with these later).
Avoid:
- Too many details (obviously).
- Taking their approach personally.
- Making promises that are too big (they’ll latch on to the big picture and ignore how hard it might be to pull off).
Functional: Dealing with everything one step at a time
As someone with a functional communication style, you love the process.
You love step-by-step guides, details, timelines, and plans.
When you’re talking, you want to go through each detail from start to finish to make sure nothing is missed.
A functional communication style can be hugely beneficial.
For project managers or leaders, knowing all necessary steps puts you in a position to guide and lead.
However, it can also make you a bit of a bore.
How to work with a functional communication style:
Try to:
- Practise “active listening” by repeating what they’ve said and asking follow-up questions.
- Expect them to ask for details, even if you’re just brainstorming.
Avoid:
- Rushing them to get to the end or make a decision.
- Assuming they support an idea 100 per cent.
Personal: Relationships over information exchange
Finally, there’s the personal communicator.
You value connection, relationships, and emotional language.
You’re a good listener.
Great diplomat.
You build strong relationships and see communication as a chance to get to know people rather than just move a project forward.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t go over well with everyone.
Other communication styles (like analytical) become defensive or frustrated when a conversation turns into “feels.”
How to work with a personal communication style
Try to:
- Keep conversations light and casual.
- Not get offended if they ask how something made you “feel” or make a work conversation personal.
- Follow up with important details and information by email after the meeting.
Avoid:
- Talking down to them or being overly pessimistic.
- Trying to contain the conversation to just stats and facts.
- Pressuring them to do a deep dive into the details with you.
Understanding communication styles helps you get heard
More and more, success comes down to our ability to communicate in a way that’s clear, concise, and understood by everyone.
By understanding our own communication style and those of the people around us, we get invaluable clarity into how to be heard (and how to hear what everyone else is saying).
* Jory MacKay is a writer, content marketer, and Editor of the RescueTime blog.
This article first appeared at www.rescuetime.com.
