My team was surprised to hear my thinking about death as a positive, but until that moment, I didn’t know that I felt good about my life so far. Photo: iStock.
A miserable bout of stomach flu left May Busch lying in a hotel bed far from home with time to reflect on her life’s successes so far and what she still wanted to achieve.
My Thai deep-tissue massage guy says I have a high tolerance for pain. I gave birth to three children without drugs (too scared to have needles in my spine). I’m no wimp.
Yet just a little while ago, things were so bad, I thought I was dying.
I was out of town at a conference. Things were going swimmingly until just after lunch on day one.
What started as a bit of indigestion spiralled into full-blown stomach flu.
It was so bad (I’ll spare you the gross details), I missed the second day of the meeting, cancelled a trip I was due to take afterwards and had to extend my stay for three days just to get well enough.
For three days, I lay in my dark hotel room completely wiped out. In the depths of feeling miserable, the thought crossed my mind: “Could this be it? Is my time up?”
I pictured myself like those soldiers dying from dysentery in the trenches of World War I (OK, I was in a comfy hotel bed, but you know what I mean).
Now, I have a lot to live for. I have hopes and dreams. People I want to meet. Things I still want to do and experiences I want to have.
Yet in that moment, I felt like absolute crap. So, the thought of a peaceful death didn’t seem all that bad (maybe because I knew I wasn’t actually dying).
As I lay there, I reflected on my life and realised it’s all been good. I’m satisfied with myself and have no regrets.
I’ve done what I wanted to do every step of the way, even when I wasn’t sure at the time. Looking back, I had always followed my own path.
I feel like I’ve been a good daughter, sister, mother, wife, boss, colleague and friend.
I have loved and been loved.
I’ve danced in the kitchen with joy and belted out songs at the top of my lungs with family on road trips. I’ve had fun.
I’ve had a spiritual once-in-a-lifetime experience at the Sungate at Machu Picchu, and I’ve helped a lot of people in their careers.
So, if this was the end, I was going to be OK with it.
Thankfully, I fully recovered.
On our team calls, we always start with a positive focus where we share something good that’s happened since our last meeting, so my ‘I thought I was dying’ experience is what I shared.
My team was surprised to hear my thinking about death as a positive, but it was for me, because until that moment, I didn’t know that I felt good about my life so far.
It took a full-blown stomach flu to stop me in my tracks to realise it. How about you?
Looking back on your life from this very moment, what do you see? Are there regrets you want to make right (or just forgive yourself for and let go)?
Are there people you have yet to love and laugh with? Are there experiences you still want to have? Are there accomplishments you still have to achieve in your career?
If so, let’s get out there and do those things. Life is to be lived, and I believe in a life of no regrets. This is what I wish for you.
I’m a Star Trek fan, so I think this is fitting as my send-off today: Live long and prosper.
May Busch’s mission is to help leaders and their organisations achieve their full potential. She works with smart entrepreneurs and top managements to build their businesses. She can be contacted at connect@maybusch.com. This article first appeared on May’s blogsite.
