Travis Bradberry* says the image of the tough no-nonsense leader rarely fits in today’s workplace environment.
Many bosses assume that a leader needs to be aloof and tough on employees in order to be effective.
They fear that looking ‘soft’ will erode their employee’s motivation and respect.
To prove their case, they cite examples of brilliant leaders who modelled a tough leadership style, such as Steve Jobs, who berated his employees.
However, when it comes to success as a leader, radically tough leadership styles are exceptions, not the rule.
Research has shown that overly tough bosses create significant health and motivation problems in their employees.
A University of London study found an especially strong link between heart disease and boss-inflicted stress.
Another study found that overly tough bosses caused people to perform at a lower level, to decline promotions, and even to quit.
Finally, a survey from Randstad Consulting showed that most employees would trade in their bosses for better ones rather than receive a $5,000 pay raise.
Nice bosses don’t just prevent health and motivational problems among their employees; they create benefits.
A California State study found leaders who treat their teams fairly have far more cohesive and productive teams and that the individuals in those teams performed better.
So, what exactly does a ‘nice’ boss look like, and how does one pull this off without being a push over?
They’re kind without being weak:
One of the toughest things for leaders to master is kindness.
It’s a balancing act, and the key to finding balance is to recognise that true kindness is inherently strong — it’s direct and straightforward.
Telling people the difficult truth they need to hear is much kinder than protecting them (or yourself) from a difficult conversation.
People can see right through kindness when a kind leader has an agenda.
They’re strong without being harsh:
Strength is an important quality in a leader.
People will wait to see if a leader is strong before they decide to follow his or her lead or not.
They need someone who can make difficult decisions and watch over the good of the group.
They need a leader who will stay the course when things get tough.
People are far more likely to show strength themselves when their leader does the same.
They’re confident, without being cocky:
We gravitate to confident leaders because confidence is contagious, and it helps us to believe that there are great things in store.
The trick, as a leader, is to make certain your confidence doesn’t slip into arrogance and cockiness.
Confidence is about passion and belief in your ability to make things happen, but when your confidence loses touch with reality, you begin to think you can do things you can’t.
Suddenly it’s all about you. This arrogance makes you lose credibility.
They stay positive, but remain realistic:
Another major challenge that leaders face is finding the balance between keeping things positive and still being realistic.
Think of a sailboat with three people aboard: A pessimist, an optimist, and a great leader.
Everything is going smoothly until the wind changes.
The pessimist throws his hands up and complains about the wind; the optimist sits back, saying things will improve.
The great leader adjusts the sails and keeps the ship moving forward.
The right combination of positivity and realism is what keeps things moving forward.
They’re role models, not preachers:
Great leaders inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words.
Many leaders say that integrity is important to them, but great leaders demonstrate integrity every day.
Harping on people all day long about the behaviour you want to see has a fraction of the impact you achieve by demonstrating that behaviour yourself.
They’re willing to take a bullet for their people:
The best leaders will do anything for their teams, and they have their people’s backs no matter what.
They don’t try to shift blame, and they don’t avoid shame when they fail.
They’re never afraid to say: “The buck stops here,” and they earn people’s trust by backing them up.
They balance work and fun:
There are plenty of bosses who know how to have fun.
Unfortunately, this is often at the expense of results.
For every boss who has a bit too much fun, there’s one who doesn’t know how to have any fun at all.
It takes a kind, but balanced leader to know how to motivate and push employees to be their best, but to also have the wherewithal to slow it down at the appropriate time to celebrate results.
They form personal connections:
Even in a crowded room, kind leaders make people feel like they’re having a one-on-one conversation.
Kind leaders communicate on a very personal, emotional level.
They never forget that there’s a flesh-and-blood human being standing in front of them.
They deliver feedback flawlessly:
It takes a tactful leader to deliver feedback that is accurate and objective but also considerate and inspirational.
Leaders who are kind know how to take into account the feelings and perspectives of their employees while still delivering the message they need to hear.
They’re generous:
Great leaders share credit and offer enthusiastic praise.
They are as committed to their followers’ success as they are to their own.
They want to inspire all their employees to achieve their personal best — not just because it will make the team more successful, but because they care about each person.
Kind leaders are dynamic; they meld a variety of unique skills into an integrated whole.
Incorporate this behaviour into your repertoire and you’ll see immediate improvement in your leadership skills.
*Travis Bradberry is the co-founder of TalentSmart, a provider of emotional intelligence tests, emotional intelligence training, and emotional intelligence certification. He can be contacted at TalentSmart.com.
This article first appeared on the TalentSmart website
