When things happen that might trigger a reaction in somebody else, she would take a moment and not react right away, allowing her to respond intentionally — and stay calm. Photo: File.
May Busch says her conversation with the server who brought her breakfast tea at an airport hotel shows there are times when a review of the path taken through life becomes necessary.
I didn’t expect this at an airport hotel, but when the server came over to me, this was the first thing I noticed: her manner.
Calm and efficient, she had a great “client-side relationship” (my term, back in the day, for being effective with clients).
None of the usual faff and solicitous chit-chat straight out of the ‘’How to get bigger tips’’ manual. Just the kind of extreme competence I value. Within minutes, I was sipping my breakfast tea — piping hot with milk, just the way I like it.
When I complimented her for being crisp, efficient and decisive while still being kind and attentive, she told me about her philosophy. Now, how many people have a philosophy, much less are able to share it on the spot?
“I like to anticipate people’s needs and respond rather than just react in the moment,” she said.
When things happen that might trigger a reaction in somebody else, she’ll take a moment and not react right away, like some of her colleagues or friends might. Taking that moment allows her to respond intentionally — and stay in a calm state.
She thinks of it as taking that moment to stay calm to set herself up for being calm in another five minutes.
She went on to talk about a few things that have happened in her life recently that led her to this new way of being.
She’s just finished moving house; a 20-year relationship had ended; and she was diagnosed with cancer four months ago, fortunately a false positive. Finally, she had just turned 50.
All of those served as a message from the universe — to review, reassess and recalibrate how she was going through life.
She said she used to be full of anxiety and hid herself away “like a hermit in her garden”. She didn’t used to like surprises, but now she’s stepping out of her bubble and embracing surprises.
She knows she can stay calm and handle it.
For my server, it took a series of big life challenges to change her approach. What will it take for you, as a leader, to allow that extra moment to respond instead of reacting?
May Busch works with good people who want to advance their careers and make the difference they’re meant to make in the world — without sacrificing their values in the process. She is the author of VISIBLE: How to Advance Your Career without Playing Politics, Selling Your Soul or Working Yourself into the Ground. She can be contacted at [email protected].
