Charlotte Cowles* says that imposter syndrome can prevent people from taking action to improve their finances, but the solution may not be as drastic as they think.
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“I know that I could and should be saving money and planning for my future, but I’m just not. I am lucky enough to not have student loans, so I have no excuse for not putting anything away. But I just seem to be incapable of it.
It’s like I have financial impostor syndrome — I’m pretty sure that if I did save money, I’d mess it up somehow. So, I spend it all on lunches and rent and clothes and stupid stuff instead.
Whenever someone tries to explain savings or investing to me, I just feel so dumb, so I avoid it. I’m not like this in other areas of my life. What is wrong with me?”
Your letter basically describes my twenties.
In my early adult life, thinking about money felt like pouring molasses into my skull.
I knew ignoring the problem would compound it, but I still couldn’t break my mental block.
I wish I could say that my financial hang-ups ended with a dramatic epiphany.
But even though I dabbled in credit-card debt and missed a few tax deadlines, my denial held strong.
The thing that finally changed was that I got tired of feeling so stupid.
So, I began asking other people — mostly friends and family members — how they managed their own money, in the hope that I could feed off their skills and willpower.
I understand why you’ve identified with imposterism — you don’t quite feel secure in the life you’ve made for yourself, despite external evidence that you’re doing just fine.
There’s a disconnect between how you see yourself (irresponsible, ineffectual) and your reality (you’ve got a decent job and a place to live).
You can’t plan for your future without taking stock of where you are, so let’s start there.
To find out what you’re missing, I called Dr Pauline Rose Clance, the psychologist who coined the term “imposter phenomenon” back in the 1970s.
“What you’re describing happens to a lot of people who are bright and competent but hold on to beliefs that they have certain inadequacies,” she says.
“If you were my patient, I’d ask you to think about the origin of that belief — who gave you the message that you’d be bad with money in the first place?”
Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have an inner money genius lurking in your subconscious.
Clance also points out that many of her patients do have an actual knowledge gap (albeit one they’ve usually blown out of proportion), and it’ll take some time and patience to close it.
Clance recommends that you lean into the stuff that makes you uncomfortable.
Look at online budget tools, read a book or two on personal finance, and/or enlist a friend or mentor to help you fumble through the first uneasy steps of figuring out what you could be doing better.
She also suggests talking to a financial adviser.
When I was in your shoes, I did all of the above.
I also found it helpful to write down everything I spent, which forced me to be more honest with myself about my habits.
Even now, whenever my spending gets out of hand, I revisit that tactic as a way to regroup.
Seeing your cash flow written out on paper makes it more concrete and controllable.
Dr Leann V. Smith, who studies the imposter phenomenon at Texas A&M University, believes another important component of your problem is self-efficacy.
“Low self-efficacy is when you feel that you don’t have the skills you need to make things happen,” she says.
It’s one step removed from impostor syndrome — where imposters feel like a fraud, people with low self-efficacy are so certain they’ll fail they won’t bother trying at all.
“Your first step is to assess yourself more accurately,” says Smith.
“We often catastrophise or pathologise certain tendencies that are normal, or aren’t as bad as we think.”
She points out that you criticised yourself for spending money on housing, lunches, and clothes — which are all necessities.
Could you be spending less on those things?
Possibly, but it’s not like you’re out shopping for diamonds while your rent cheque bounces.
Cut yourself some slack.
Smith also recommends a trick she learned in university.
“I often feel imposterism in my research, so I keep a list of evidence that I know what I’m doing,” she says.
“I know it sounds cheesy, but whenever a student writes me a nice note or I get a paper published in a big journal, or I receive another signal that I’m doing well, it goes on the list.”
“Then, when I start to get those feelings of self-doubt, I revisit it.”
“By exposing myself to the truth, I can minimise the lies I tell myself.”
You could translate this into a list of small actions you’ve taken to save more or better organise your finances — anything to keep yourself from spinning out into molasses-brain territory.
Ultimately, your financial habits could use some tweaks, but probably not the punitive overhaul you envisioned.
And the same goes for your mind-set — there’s nothing “wrong” with you, except for the fact that you think there is.
* Charlotte Cowles is a columnist for The Cut. She tweets at @charlottecowles.
This article first appeared at www.thecut.com.
