Reviewed by Rama Gaind.
By Darren Fleming, self-published, $20.00.
The message is loud and clear: it’s about ‘creating connections that make influence happen’. Don’t turn your back, don’t cover your ears and don’t close your heart.
Communications specialist, Fleming says the secret to influence is connection. A link based in trust and mutual understanding can be created in seconds, with complete strangers and can last decades. Connection is our natural state and can be established with anyone. It’s just a matter of letting people in.
Don’t Be A D!ck is the book with a few home truths. It also shows you how to establish a bond with anyone without using tricks, techniques or covert manipulation. It is from here that influence can happen.
Fleming does not beat about the bush: “some people are dicks”. They do terrible things to make themselves feel superior by demeaning others. They are rude, selfish and mean. Even worse is the fact that some of them don’t even know it. Fleming describes the type of behaviour that puts these people into that category and also provides some simple, incontrovertible guidelines so people don’t act clumsy.
Fleming, also an expert in leadership and influence, draws upon decades of experience working with professional companies to provide a simple three-step guide to increasing your influence through creating connections.
The default position for most of us is to trust others, and it’s only when we find evidence to the contrary that we stop. When banks rip us off, politicians go back on their word or sales people stretch the truth, we become wary of others taking advantage.
Not being ignorant: that’s the easiest way to ensure that we gain the trust of others.
Be responsible, include people, listen to their story, empathise with their plight and don’t always find faults. That’s the connection we crave and we can do it naturally – it’s how we survive.
