Despite being at the same level, these bossy co-workers issue directives, correct your work, and even contradict instructions from the actual leadership. Photo: engagedly.com.
James Mason has advice for handling a co-worker who tries to dominate the team or project, assuming authority that is neither earned nor welcomed.
The biggest challenge in doing your job well isn’t always the workload, it’s the workplace dynamics – and one of the most aggravating dynamics is dealing with a co-worker who acts like they’re the boss.
You were both hired at the same level, with no managerial authority, yet here they are – issuing directives, correcting your work, and even contradicting instructions from the actual leadership.
While constructive feedback from colleagues is often valuable and welcomed, there’s a way to give input that’s collaborative rather than controlling.
When someone persistently undermines others, it’s a sign of a deeper problem: a lack of respect and a hunger for power they haven’t earned.
They may have valuable insights and a strong skillset, but that doesn’t justify stepping out of line. Authority needs to be respected, not assumed.
Watch for red flags in meetings, project work, and day-to-day interactions, things like interrupting your comments or feedback in meetings or hogging major team priorities and volunteering for every lead role.
Or they may dominate conversations and undermine others’ contributions, using a patronising tone or language when addressing colleagues and making decisions on behalf of the team without consulting anyone.
Here are a few reasons someone might adopt this ‘’mini-manager’’ mindset.
Experience in leadership roles: They may have held a managerial title in a previous job and haven’t adjusted to their current peer status.
Low self-awareness: They genuinely don’t realise how their behaviour comes across.
Poor leadership from actual managers: In the absence of strong guidance, some step in to fill the vacuum.
Insecurity masked as confidence: Acting superior is sometimes a defence mechanism for people who feel threatened or inadequate.
Career ambition: They believe taking control will fast-track their progression, even if it comes at the expense of others.
Personal validation: They equate being in charge with feeling important or valued.
Dealing with this situation requires balance, professionalism, and confidence. Here’s how you can address it based on your role and relationship with the individual.
If they’re your peer, report and document specific incidents by keeping a log of situations where they’ve crossed the line. It’s helpful to reference facts rather than feelings.
If the behaviour is impacting your work or team morale, raise it with your line manager. Frame it around team performance, not personal grievances.
If the issue isn’t too frequent, consider addressing it directly. A calm but firm statement like: “Thanks, I’ve got this covered, but I’ll reach out if I need support” can do wonders.
In doing this, choose private, professional conversations over open criticism.
If you’re their manager, then it’s your responsibility to establish clear boundaries. Make sure roles and responsibilities are understood and respected.
If they’re eager to lead, consider mentoring them or offering opportunities that align with their ambition – but on your terms.
Give regular feedback, highlighting both the overstepping behaviour and the correct path to take if they genuinely want to progress – and publicly recognise and support the contributions of others to shift the power dynamic away from the ‘’non-boss’’.
Workplace harmony hinges on mutual respect, not imaginary hierarchies. Someone acting like they’re the boss when they’re not can disrupt team performance and create resentment.
The good news? With the right response – whether through setting personal restrictions or escalating to leadership – this behaviour can be addressed.
If handled with professionalism and clarity, it can even turn into an opportunity for someone to grow into a real leader.
James Mason has worked for various organisations over an 18-year career. A seasoned blogger, he has created the blogsite Office Bantomime. This article first appeared on the Office Bantomime website.
