Travis Bradberry* says chasing rainbows can stop you from having a meaningful and fulfilling life in the here and now.
In Hans Christian Andersen’s fable The Red Shoes, a girl longs for a pair of pretty red shoes.
She ultimately tricks the blind woman who cares for her into buying her a pair.
Her love for the red shoes causes her to give them priority over the more important things in her life, and, as often happens in fables, karma is not on her side.
The shoes become firmly stuck to her feet and force her to dance non-stop, to the point where she almost dies from exhaustion and starvation.
In real life, we often do the same thing — we chase after the things that we think will make us happy and don’t realise that we’re heading down a dangerous path.
Cultivating the habits that follow will send you in the right direction.
Stay away from people who erode your quality of life.
Toxic people can have a big negative impact on your life.
They might be unhappy about your decision to stay away from them but isn’t avoiding them worth the cumulative effects of years of their negative influence?
Each time you find yourself thinking about a co-worker or person who makes your blood boil, practice being grateful for someone else in your life instead.
There are plenty of people out there who deserve your attention, and the last thing you want to do is think about the people who don’t matter.
No more phone, tablet, or computer in bed.
Most people don’t even realise this harms their sleep and productivity.
Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in determining your mood, energy level, and sleep quality.
In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light.
When your eyes are exposed to it directly, it halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel alert.
By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it.
Yet most of our favourite evening devices — laptops, tablets, and mobile phones — emit short-wavelength blue light brightly and right in your face.
This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep, as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off.
The best thing you can do is to avoid these devices after dinner.
Appreciate the here and now.
Gratitude is fundamental to peace and happiness — simple appreciation for what you have.
Just because you can’t afford champagne and caviar doesn’t mean that you never enjoy a meal.
So, don’t fool yourself into thinking that you need something that you don’t currently have in order to be happy.
Realise that things aren’t always as you perceive them to be.
That person you envy because they seem to have the perfect life might be dealing with all kinds of problems behind closed doors.
Your employer’s decision to move the office might seem like a huge hassle when you first hear about it, but it could end up being one of the best things that ever happens.
You’re not a fortune-teller, so be open to the possibility that life might have some surprises in store.
Get started, even though you might fail.
Most writers spend countless hours brainstorming their characters and plots, and they even write page after page that they know they’ll never include in their books.
They do this because they know that ideas need time to develop.
We tend to freeze up when it’s time to get started because we know that our ideas aren’t perfect, but how can you ever produce something great if you don’t get started?
Get organised.
The one resource that’s really scarce is spare time, yet we waste so much of it by not being organised.
We touch things two or three times before we do something with them, like tossing the mail down on the counter then moving it to the table so we can cook dinner.
Have a place for all of those little things you need to take care of when you get a minute.
Otherwise you’ll be searching through a stack of stuff for the one thing you need.
Start a collection of the things that truly resonate with you.
Have you ever come across a quote that so perfectly summed up your feelings that you wanted to keep it forever?
When you come across something that resonates with you have a central place to keep those gems.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a spiral notebook, a leather binder or a folder, have a place to collect the things that matter so that you can revisit them.
Do something that reminds you who you are.
Make time for those activities that we feel most authentically ourselves doing, when all the masks are off and we can just be.
Make time for those moments.
They’re incredibly rejuvenating.
Say no.
The more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode self-control.
No is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield.
Just remind yourself that saying no is an act of self-control preventing the negative effects of over-commitment.
Stick to realistic goals.
Big, scary, crazy goals can be incredibly inspiring until you fall short, and then, instead of inspiration, you’re left with disappointment and guilt.
I’m not suggesting you stop setting goals that push and challenge you; just that you try to stick within the bounds of reality.
*Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. He can be contacted at TalentSmart.com.
This article first appeared at talentsmart.com.
