Bruce Kasanoff* says too often people shy away from the simple question: “What do you want?” when they should be letting their imaginations run free.
I’m in the middle of a months-long exercise to describe my Expansive Life Vision, which is the best possible life I can imagine.
Why, you might wonder, would it take months to complete such an exercise?
Why can’t I just take 30 minutes, dream big, and then write down what comes to mind?
Human beings don’t work that way.
We spend our entire lives being told what we can’t do.
You can’t be a doctor if you didn’t go to medical school.
You can’t be rich if you are 40 years old and have never earned six figures.
You can’t sing or act or be famous.
You can’t be in charge.
You can’t own an island.
You can’t have your own television show.
You can’t live to be 120 years old.
You can’t marry someone who is utterly gorgeous, handsome or charismatic.
You can’t run two marathons in one month.
You can’t make the world a meaningfully better place.
Much like climbing a mountain, when you can’t see the true summit from the valley floor, in a similar manner, we can’t see our best possible life from where we are standing today.
It’s simply too bold; too outrageous; beyond any “realistic” outcome; completely f#cking crazy.
No matter who you are or how bold your life has been so far, there’s a bolder and more vibrant version hidden deep inside you.
I’ve probably written 15 versions of my Expansive Life Vision so far, which describes my best possible life according to 24 separate variables such as Personal Growth, Time Freedom, and Current Income.
Each one has been too constricted, too lame and too meek — every single one!
I think I’m being ridiculously over-the-top — and then a day goes by and I read it again, asking myself: “Is this the best possible life I can imagine?”
Nope.
It isn’t.
Imagine, for example, that in your best possible life, you feel unconditionally loved by every single member of your family and by every single one of your close friends.
Also imagine that you give yourself this sort of unconditional love.
That, I bet, would already be a sea change from today’s reality.
Now imagine what else in your life would change when you felt that way?
It would be an entirely different life and you would probably make dramatically different choices.
In my experience working with others, the most terrifying question I can ask them is: “What do you want?”
It is terrifying because we haven’t gone up one ladder after another after another, rising above the fog that surrounds us and reaching towards the magical life that is actually within our reach, if only we resolve to start climbing.
*Bruce Kasanoff is the founder of The Journey, a newsletter for positive, uplifting and accomplished professionals. He can be contacted at kasanoff.com.
This article first appeared at kasanoff.com.
