One person gets an hour to tell their story without interruptions from the others. It’s a chance to be fully seen and heard, and to build strong new relationships. Photo: File.
Bruce Kasanoff describes a program he is part of in which each participant is given one hour to talk about themselves, their hopes and dreams — and how difficult many find it.
Over several years, I have been part of a program that brings me together with seven new people.
We meet once a week for eight weeks, and in each session one person gets to tell their story for an hour without interruptions from the others. It’s a chance to be fully seen and heard, and to build strong new relationships.
A bit surprisingly, the toughest part of all is deciding what to say. When someone gives you a full hour to talk about yourself, it turns out to be quite a challenge.
My strategy is to describe my highest and best aspirations for ways in which I can add value to others, build stronger relationships, fully utilise my creative abilities and form a deeper understanding of how the world really works.
In other words, I try to find the intersections between what matters to me and what matters to the other members of the group.
I’m looking for ways we can collaborate and support each other. I’m seeking to tap into their wisdom and strengths. With intention, I pose questions to which I don’t know the answers … in the hope that they might.
I call this zone the resonance space between us. It’s the place where deep connections are formed, where everyone gets excited and engaged. The better your ability to get into this space, the stronger your relationships will be.
Unfortunately, out in the wider world, too many people spend little or no time in this space. Instead, they use the time while you are talking to formulate what they are going to say next. Talking with them feels more like a competition than a connection.
Yet, when you actually give such a person a full, uninterrupted hour to speak, they often will stumble.
I would suggest this is because most of us seldom stop to consider what matters most to us … and how such priorities overlap with the people around us.
So, today I have one question for you: If you had an hour to talk about yourself, what would you say?
Bruce Kasanoff is the founder of The Journey, a newsletter for positive, uplifting and accomplished professionals. He is also an executive coach and social media ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. He can be contacted at kasanoff.com. This article first appeared at kasanoff.com.
