26 September 2023

Breaking bad: The rules women can break to beat low expectations

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Francesca Gino* says there are four ways women can break the rules to avoid the ‘stereotype threat’ and overcome other people’s low expectations of their leadership potential.


One evening in February 2016, writer and filmmaker Ava DuVernay met with two top Disney executives about the possibility of directing an adaptation of Madeleine L’Engle’s classic novel A Wrinkle in Time.

DuVernay, 44 at the time, had overcome many challenges to reach that moment.

She had launched her career 12 years earlier with no connections — she just picked up a camera and started making small-budget films, including one she financed out of her own savings.

She achieved a big breakthrough with Selma, the first film directed by an African American woman to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar.

But even as she moved into positions of authority, DuVernay found that men continued to question her leadership and invade her personal space.

When working on set, she regularly wore a hat to avoid “hair touches” from others and glasses so that people could not misinterpret a problem with a contact lens as crying.

She’d noticed, too, that when covering her work, the media always seemed to focus on how unusual it was for a black woman to be a director, rather than on her vision as a filmmaker.

But by the time she met with Disney, DuVernay felt confident.

She had already developed a reputation for taking on daunting projects, and she knew these two executives admired her work.

“In that particular room, for the first time, I was able to walk in and tell my story, like a white man does,” she said in an interview with Vice.

“All of the other stuff and baggage was not there.”

As DuVernay’s experiences suggest, women striving for high-level success in male-dominated fields face daunting challenges.

When we think of good managers, research suggests, we usually think of men.

We tend to perceive men as more competent and commanding than women, which can lead women to encounter scepticism and backlash when they go for high-level positions.

Men and women alike often accuse female leaders of being bossy, cold, bitchy, or aggressive — attributes at odds with the feminine stereotype of women as compassionate, warm, and submissive.

Similarly, when men seem angry at work, they’re rewarded with more respect and authority, while women who seem angry tend to be viewed as incompetent and unworthy and are penalised.

Such experiences can damage women’s confidence.

Psychologist Claude Steele has documented the phenomenon known as stereotype threat, or the tendency to “choke” and underperform due to fear of bias.

Consider the persistent stereotype that female students are not as strong as males in math and science.

In one study, women who were reminded of their gender before taking a math test scored lower than equally qualified men who took the same test.

The women’s performances suffered because they feared confirming negative female stereotypes, the researchers found.

However, when women were reassured that men and women are equally strong at math, the women matched the performances of the men.

For DuVernay, the executives’ high expectations helped her walk into the Wrinkle in Time meeting with confidence.

These expectations were justified, given DuVernay’s achievements.

When others’ expectations of us appear to be low, how can we — both men and women — avoid stereotype threat and overcome low expectations?

The following four actions can help.

First, when approaching a high-stakes situation instead of telling yourself to calm down, try to frame your nervous energy as excitement.

This strategy helps reduce anxiety and improves performance, research shows.

Second, we can think about the stereotypes we’ll be measured against and try to view particular qualities as pluses rather than minuses.

New research suggests that when women see a “feminine” quality like warmth as an opportunity instead of a problematic stereotype, they are more resilient and effective as leaders.

This requires a simple shift in mindset: what we intentionally decide to focus on as we approach our work.

Third, women can practise breaking rules.

In a recent survey of about 500 men and women, most indicated that it is easier for men to break the rules or go against the grain than it is for women.

But women can get away with breaking the rules as well.

After becoming the CEO of WebMD, Patricia Fili-Krushel met with an all-male group of engineers in Silicon Valley.

When they asked her what she knew about engineering, she made a zero with her fingers.

“This is how much I know about engineering,” she said.

“However, I do know how to run businesses, and I’m hoping you can teach me what I need to know about your world.”

For good reasons, many female leaders assume they have to be tough as nails and show no weaknesses.

Fili-Krushel broke that rule, and in so doing confounded the engineers’ expectations.

By being candid and admitting what she didn’t know, when the engineers clearly did not expect it, Fili-Krushel gained their respect.

As research has found, when we disclose things about ourselves — even shortcomings — others trust and like us more.

Fourth, you can make your own rules.

As a budding filmmaker, DuVernay devoted a lot of time and energy to figuring out how to break into the industry, seeking out people who could advise and support her.

Eventually, though, she came to believe that she would be better off making her own films, with her own ideas and budget.

“I think there have been cracks made in the glass ceiling by women who can get close enough to hit it,” she told Time magazine.

“But I’m mostly bolstered by folks who create their own ceilings.”

Rebels like DuVernay fight against the attitudes and roles imposed by society, seizing every opportunity to prove them wrong.

They look beyond stereotypes to the heights of their own potential.

* Francesca Gino is a behavioural scientist and the Tandon Family Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School. She tweets at @francescagino.

This article first appeared at hbr.org.

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