These are difficult times — and there are so many more things to worry about. Michelle Bakjac* has advice on managing emotions as the stress mounts.
We have all been in one of ‘those’ situations.
It may be the person at work that drives you crazy, or the project you have been working on for months gets shelved.
We could choose to shout, get annoyed and overtly show our annoyance or displeasure.
However, in the workplace in particular, this could really harm our professional reputation.
Stressful situations are all too common at present.
We are facing budget cuts, staff lay-offs, work-from-home arrangements and Departmental changes.
It may become harder and harder to manage our emotions under these circumstances, but it’s even more important for us to do so.
We need to remember that no matter what the situation is, you’re always free to choose how you react to it.
So, how can you become better at handling your emotions?
Consider some of the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace and how you can manage them productively.
Why are we focusing only on negative emotions? Well, most people don’t need strategies for managing their positive emotions.
After all, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion, or optimism usually don’t affect others in a negative way.
Professor of Management at Bond University, Cynthia Fisher has conducted a study called Emotions at Work: What Do People Feel, and How Should We Measure It?
According to her research, the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace are frustration/irritation; worry/nervousness; anger/aggravation; dislike and disappointment/unhappiness.
Below are different strategies you can use to help you deal with each of these negative emotions.
Frustration usually occurs when you feel stuck or trapped, or unable to move forward in some way.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to deal with feelings of frustration quickly, because they can easily lead to more negative emotions, such as anger.
One of the best things you can do is mentally stop yourself and look at the situation.
Ask yourself why you feel frustrated. Write it down and be specific.
Then think of one positive thing about your current situation.
For instance, if your boss is late for your meeting, then you have more time to prepare.
With all the fear and anxiety that comes with increasing numbers of changes in the workplace, it’s no wonder that many people worry about their jobs.
This worry can easily get out of control if you allow it, and this can impact not only your mental health, but also your productivity.
Don’t surround yourself with worry and anxiety.
For example, if co-workers gather to gossip and talk about job changes, then don’t go there and worry with everyone else.
Try deep-breathing exercises. This helps slow your breathing and your heart rate.
Focus on your breathing, and nothing else. Do this at least five times.
If you find that worries are churning around inside your mind, write them down in a notebook or ‘worry log’, and then schedule a time to deal with them.
Before that time, you can forget about these worries, knowing that you’ll deal with them later.
When it comes to the time you’ve scheduled, conduct a proper risk analysis around these things and take whatever actions are necessary to mitigate any risks.
Out-of-control anger is perhaps the most destructive emotion that people experience in the workplace.
It’s also the emotion that most of us don’t handle very well.
Only you know the danger signs when anger is building, so learn to recognise them when they begin
If you start to get angry, stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and practice deep breathing.
If you imagine how you look and behave while you’re angry, it gives you some perspective on the situation.
For instance, is your face red? Are you waving your arms around? Would you want to work with someone like that? Probably not.
We’ve probably all had to work with someone we don’t like, but it’s important to be professional, no matter what.
If you have to work with someone you don’t get along with, then it’s time to set aside your pride and ego.
Treat the person with courtesy and respect, as you would treat anyone else.
There may be some attributes that you find difficult to work with about an individual, but consider everyone has personal strengths.
Dealing with disappointment or unhappiness can be difficult.
Of all the emotions you might feel at work, these are the most likely to impact your productivity.
If you’ve just suffered a major disappointment, your energy will probably be low, you might be afraid to take another risk, and all of that may hold you back from achieving.
Take a moment to realise that things won’t always go your way.
If they did, life would be a straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs.
It’s the hills and valleys that often make life interesting.
So, recognise the power of the word ‘yet’ — I haven’t got there…yet.
Write down exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it a co-worker? Is it your job? Do you have too much to do?
Once you identify the problem, start brainstorming ways to solve it or work around it.
Remember, you always have the power to change your situation.
*Michelle Bakjac is an Adelaide-based psychologist, organisational consultant, coach, speaker and facilitator and a Director of Bakjac Consulting. She can be contacted at [email protected].
A fuller version of this article first appeared on the Bakjac Consulting website.
