What one person sees as friendly, familiar or reassuring can be experienced by someone else as awkward, intrusive or completely inappropriate. Photo: Stock.
Physical contact among work colleagues is a much more complex issue than it was a few decades ago, but Gary Martin says it can be negotiated with maturity and judgment.
Physical touch at work sits in an awkward space. A congratulatory pat on the back, a greeting kiss, a reassuring hand on the shoulder, or a hug can be human, kind, and well-intentioned.
However, it can also be seen as presumptuous, poorly judged or clearly inappropriate.
In the modern workplace, touch has become a touchy subject because it is never just about the gesture itself. It depends on who is involved, the relationship between them and the setting.
It is also influenced by power dynamics and the personal boundaries each person brings.
What one person sees as friendly, familiar or reassuring can be experienced by someone else as awkward, intrusive or completely inappropriate.
This is because in recent times, the workplace has changed, and mostly for good reason.
We are more aware of personal boundaries and more alert to power imbalances. We are also more willing to call out inappropriate behaviour that might once have been brushed aside.
While some might roll their eyes and claim the world has gone soft, the truth is much more complicated.
Workplaces have not become allergic to human warmth. They have become more aware that warmth does not always require physical contact.
It is about recognising that a gesture intended as supportive can still feel unsettling to someone else, and accepting your comfort with touch does not automatically permit you to make it someone else’s problem.
Most physical contact at work sits in a grey area. It is not always dramatic, predatory or obviously wrong. Often, it is small and casual.
A manager places a hand on an employee’s lower back while guiding them through a crowded room; a team member squeezes someone’s arm during a conversation; a senior staff member gives shoulder rubs as stress relief. Or a boss leans in too close and touches someone’s elbow while making a point.
Individually, some of these moments might seem minor, but for the person on the receiving end, they can feel anything but. It goes without saying that some forms of physical touch are automatically off limits.
A hand on the thigh, a grab around the waist and a slap on the backside cannot be explained away as old-school charm or friendliness. Nor can any contact with intimate parts of the body.
Physical moves of this nature are not clumsy social gestures; they are boundaries being crossed.
It’s not that every workplace needs to become cold, clinical or stripped of human connection. In the end, it’s all about judgment.
The safest rule is also likely to be the simplest — never assume your overwhelming comfort with workplace touch is shared by everyone else.
Gary Martin is a former academic turned social trends and workplace specialist, keynote speaker and newspaper columnist. He is currently CEO of the Australian Institute of Management in Western Australia.
