Frances Dodds* says studies show that having a best friend at work improves performance and engagement, especially for women.
“Do you have a best friend at work?”
It’s an innocuous enough question, right?
Not so much, according to Gallup.
Apparently, in 30 years of workplace engagement research, that’s the most “controversial” question the analytics company has ever asked.
It riles up a whole slew of bosses who don’t believe friendships should have anything to do with the workplace.
Unfortunately, women’s workplace relationships are often perceived as particularly unprofessional.
To some men, the intimacy women exhibit with their friends can seem insular, chit-chatty and even threatening.
Many — if not most — women have had the experience of talking with a female co-worker when a male colleague walks by and says, “What’s the gossip now, ladies?”
Or: “Drama, drama, drama.”
While these comments are usually meant to be joking and friendly, they also play into stereotypes about women’s “idle chatter”.
(For what it’s worth, research suggests men gossip just as much as women.)
But Gallup has consistently found that having a best friend at work actually improves performance for both men and women.
As of 2018, Gallup found that two in 10 employees have best friends at work, but they estimate that if that number grew to six in 10 employees, organisations would see 36 per cent fewer safety incidents, 12 per cent higher profits, and 7 per cent more engaged customers.
For women, having a close friend at work can make or break their investment in a job.
“Our research has repeatedly shown a concrete link between having a best friend at work and the amount of effort employees expend in their job,” Gallup reports.
Gallup found that women who have a best friend at work are less likely to be looking for other jobs, more likely to feel solidarity with their team, to rate their team and organisation’s performance highly, to understand what’s expected of them and even to take risks that lead to innovation.
Plus, according to a 2017 study in the journal Organization Science, social friendships among women in male-dominated organisations significantly reduce conflict among female employees.
All of this makes sense.
From an evolutionary standpoint, women’s social bonds were integral to our survival, and they continue to be a vital part of how women see themselves as belonging in the world.
For women (and men!), feeling “seen” by a close friend as we go about our days can be like standing on a powerful springboard.
A best friend is someone we feel comfortable bouncing new ideas off, and who propels us to take the next big leap.
So how do leaders encourage these kinds of friendships?
- Promote a culture of open communication
For workplace friendships to be truly beneficial, you must have a culture of open dialogue.
Everyone should be encouraged to volunteer their thoughts and contribute according to their skills, and managers should make a sensitive effort to draw out people who aren’t immediately comfortable speaking up.
Not only will this environment make it easier for your employees to be their true selves around their co-workers, but it will also allow them to work together more effectively to meet the group’s goals.
- Volunteer as a team or host philanthropic events
Meaningful experiences bring people together.
If your team volunteers together for a particular cause, or hosts a benefit, everyone gets the “helping high” that comes with doing something kind for others, and that emotional openness is fertile ground for making friends.
The 2017 Deloitte Volunteerism Survey found that 70 per cent of respondents believed volunteering as a team actually boosted morale more than workplace social mixers, and 89 per cent believed that employer-sponsored charity functions made for a better work environment.
Plus, these projects have the added benefit of requiring people to work together, but not in their usual professional capacities.
So, there’s room for people to shine in different ways.
- Encourage collaboration and cross-team projects
The manager’s number one responsibility is to make sure everyone knows what they need to do.
But once that’s handled, combining teams to fuse their expertise on a certain project is a great way to land on innovative ideas while allowing new people to meet.
- Create fun circumstances for people to meet
The office Christmas party is legendary for enabling employees to get acquainted in a “looser” capacity, but you don’t need spiked eggnog to start people chatting.
Set up channels for employees to mingle all year round.
For example, you could try a random coffee pairings calendar.
Anyone who wants to participate will be randomly matched with someone else in the office for a weekly (or monthly) coffee date.
Maybe you get matched with someone you’ve never met before, or maybe you get matched with someone you know, but haven’t really checked in with in a while.
It can be anxiety-inducing for a new employee to introduce themselves to everyone.
So, after they get settled in, it’s a sweet little hack to place a bowl of lollies on their desk.
People will have a reason to stop by and introduce themselves without too much awkward small talk.
* Frances Dodds is Digital Features Director at Entrepreneur Media.
This article first appeared at www.entrepreneur.com.
