May Busch* says beliefs engrained into us as children, often for very good reasons, can have a damaging effect on our later careers.
Of course a full-grown circus elephant can pull that stake out of the ground and free herself with hardly any effort.
Though not if she’s been conditioned since birth to believe that same rope and stake are strong enough to hold her in place.
The same thing is true for our careers when it comes to allowing limiting beliefs to hold us back from achieving our bigger aspirations.
Where we differ from the elephant is instead of remaining fixed in place by perceived limits, we have the power to move beyond our limiting beliefs.
Here are three steps I’ve found helpful for changing limiting beliefs so they no longer hold you back.
Identify; Acknowledge; Replace.
Some beliefs are so ingrained we don’t even realise we have them.
When we’ve accepted them as norms, they have tremendous power to hold us back.
To identify these hidden limiting beliefs, look at areas where you feel you’re struggling.
Like being unable to express your emotions, or never being satisfied with yourself.
Another way is to examine your thoughts and self-talk.
These could be situations where you think: “I could never do that” where that might be giving a speech or becoming a board member.
Your limiting beliefs could also be things others say to you regularly.
One of my clients is an accomplished executive, yet she still struggles to believe in herself.
At the root of it is an IQ test at the age of seven that showed she was solidly in ‘average’ territory.
With every accomplishment since then, her parents have said: “You’ve done well for someone with average IQ.”
This regular reminder of her averageness had become a limiting belief.
Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, pick just one to work on. Don’t tackle them all at once.
Acknowledging your limiting beliefs is a key part of neutralising their impact.
Your limiting thoughts and beliefs have been with you for a while and they’re unlikely to just go away on their own.
So go ahead and give your limiting beliefs their proper attention.
Thank them for their appearance and reassure them that you’ve got the situation under control.
You need to acknowledge your limiting beliefs so they can go away satisfied they’ve done their job.
This brings us to the third step.
What new thoughts and beliefs will replace the old limiting beliefs?
Having acknowledged your limiting beliefs and sent them on their way, you need to re-fill the space.
These replacement thoughts and beliefs need to be more accurate about who you truly are and the full array of opportunities ahead of you.
Having spent decades telling myself everyone else was better than me no matter how much I accomplished, I was no longer sure what ‘accurate’ sounded like.
It was my husband who helped me come up with a mantra to say to myself every time that self-silencing limiting belief popped up.
It was just four short sentences geared around, “I’m as good as any of them and better than most”.
So whether you do it on your own or enlist others to help, make sure you create powerful new beliefs to replace the ones that have been limiting you.
Focus on the thoughts and beliefs that will open up possibilities for you rather than hold you back.
Collect these ideas, write them down, practice them out loud and choose the ones that work best for you.
Then, put the written version where you can see it every day.
If you’re still stuck with those same limiting beliefs and not making progress, one of three things could be at play.
First, there could be a different underlying belief that you haven’t yet identified but is the root cause.
Until you address that underlying belief, you won’t make progress.
Second, you could be getting more of a payoff from your limiting belief than you realise, which keeps that belief firmly in place.
For example, getting a lot more sympathy and attention when things aren’t going well for you than when you’re going strong.
Third, you might not have given it enough time.
Cut yourself some slack and stay with your efforts a little longer.
In my case, I had to repeat my mantra out loud 50-to-100 times a day for the first three months to drum the old belief out of my head.
After that, it still took a couple of years before I didn’t need to reach for my mantra every day.
Change is hard, and it’s especially hard when it comes to deeply embedded limiting beliefs.
The longer you’ve operated under your limiting beliefs, the more important it is to enlist help from others you trust.
The help can simply be someone who bears witness to your progress.
We all have limiting beliefs.
The key is to move beyond them so they don’t stop you from fulfilling your potential.
You can do that by identifying, acknowledging and replacing your limiting beliefs.
When you look back, the limiting belief you’ve freed yourself from will seem just as small and powerless as the stake and rope that held the full-grown elephant.
*May Busch works with entrepreneurs and top managements to build their businesses. She can be contacted at [email protected].
This article first appeared at maybusch.com.
