Travis Bradberry* says in a world of constant contact, we are losing the benefits of simply being on our own.
At this point in the pandemic most of us have spent far more time alone than we ever thought we would.
With quarantines being slowly lifted and social distancing the new normal, there is more alone time in store.
Which begs the question: Are there benefits to being alone?
We live in a world of constant contact — a place that’s losing sight of the importance of being alone.
Offices are abandoning cubicles in favour of shared desks and wide-open common spaces.
Rather than sitting at their desks working independently, school children are placed in groups.
It seems that a never-ending ‘ping’ has become our culture’s omnipresent background noise, instantly informing us of every text, tweet, and notification.
Even something as mundane as cooking dinner has become worthy of social sharing.
One result of all this social connection is that under normal circumstances many of us rarely have any time alone.
While we’re told that this connectivity is a good thing and that being around other people is necessary for a fulfilled life, you can certainly have too much of a good thing.
A study of 600 computer programmers at 92 companies found that while productivity levels were relatively stable within each company, they varied greatly from one company to the next.
The more productive companies had one thing in common: They ditched the ultra-hip open office in favour of private workspaces that granted freedom from interruptions.
Of the top performers, 62 per cent said they had adequate privacy at work, while only 19 per cent of the worst performers shared that opinion.
Among the low performers, 76 per cent said they were often unnecessarily interrupted.
Solitude in doses isn’t just a professional plus; it’s also good for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
To get the most out of life, you must learn to enjoy spending time alone.
The benefits of solitude are too numerous to catalogue, but here are some of the best.
You recuperate and recharge
Even the hopeless extroverts among us need time to recuperate and recharge.
There’s nothing like spending time alone to make this happen.
The peace, quiet, and mental solitude you experience when you’re by yourself are essential to recovering from the stresses of daily living.
You can do what you want
As fun as it is to spend time with other people, it inevitably leads to compromise.
You’re constantly modifying your ideas to accommodate other people’s desires and opinions.
Being alone frees you up to do exactly what you want when you want.
You can throw on whatever you feel like wearing, eat what you feel like eating, and work on projects that are meaningful to you.
You learn to trust yourself
Freedom is more than doing what you want; it’s the ability to trust your gut and to think clearly, without outside influence.
Being alone helps you form a clear understanding of who you are, what you know, and what’s right for you.
It teaches you to trust yourself.
When around others, even when you don’t realise it, you monitor people’s reactions in order to gauge the appropriateness of your own feelings and actions.
When you’re alone, it’s all on you.
You develop your own ideas and opinions, without having them watered down by what anyone else thinks.
Once you learn to enjoy being alone, you’ll discover what you’re truly capable of, without the constraints of other people’s thinking.
It increases your emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is your ability to recognise and understand emotions in yourself and others.
TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that 90 per cent of top performers are high in EQ.
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence, and you can’t increase your EQ without it.
Since self-awareness requires understanding your emotions and how you react to various people and situations, this necessitates careful self-reflection.
Self-reflection happens best when you’re alone.
It boosts your self-esteem
Enjoying your own company is a huge confidence booster.
If you’re bored and restless when you’re by yourself, it’s easy to start thinking that you’re boring or that you need other people around to enjoy yourself.
Learning to enjoy time alone boosts your self-esteem by confirming that you are enough.
You appreciate other people more
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
Time alone lets you see people in a whole new light, and it helps you to develop a renewed sense of gratitude for who they are and what they do.
You get more done
It’s said that ‘more hands make light work’.
That might be true when it comes to raking leaves.
It’s a completely different story with cognitive tasks.
Even the effectiveness of brainstorming is more myth than reality.
Researchers from Texas A&M University found that group brainstorming hinders productivity due to ‘cognitive fixation’.
This is the tendency for people working in groups to get stuck on other people’s ideas, reducing their ability to come up with anything new.
The bigger the group, the more fixated everyone becomes.
Spending time alone not only eliminates distractions but also ensures that you don’t have trouble with ‘too many cooks’.
Everyone benefits from solitude.
Take the opportunity this week to enjoy your time alone.
*Travis Bradberry is the co-author of the bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. He can be contacted at TalentSmart.com.
This article first appeared on the TalentSmart website.
