Many of our beliefs and opinions are the result of our parents and others sharing their biases with us when we’re young. Years later, it’s appropriate to jettison the biases that no longer serve us. Photo: iStock.
After many years, Amanda Setili has come to realise that some of the values instilled in her by her parents do not serve her well in later life.
I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I have come to the conclusion that my parents ”brainwashed” me.
When I was growing up, my dad loved opera and literature; my mum was an art teacher and appreciated all kinds of art.
My brother, sister and I were all artistic, but our parents actively discouraged us from considering art as a profession, because their perception was that you’ll never make a living as an artist.
Instead, they encouraged us all to consider other careers, which actually worked out fine for me. However, I now realise that for a good portion of my life, I’ve underappreciated what artists do.
While my self-perception is that I make a difference in the world through my coaching and consulting work, many artists – especially if you include performing artists – profoundly impact the world through their art.
That said, my point in this article is not to celebrate artists, even if that is a wonderful idea.
My intention is to remind you that many of our beliefs and opinions are the result of our parents and others sharing their biases with us when we’re young.
If brainwashing is too strong a word for you, let’s just say that your parents programmed you in a manner that reflected their worldview. However, 20, 30 or even 40 years later, it’s appropriate to jettison beliefs and biases that no longer serve you.
These beliefs are very good at hiding. Many are so deeply ingrained in your head and heart that you don’t even realise they may conflict with how you actually feel, deep inside. Or what you want out of life.
I want to stress that in the vast majority of cases, parents have the best of intentions. Raising children is complicated and I’m sure I accidentally ‘’programmed’’ my own kids with beliefs that don’t serve them well.
My point is not to criticise anyone. I simply want to remind you that we ought to be taking control of our thinking once we realise that we can and should do this.
Amanda Setili helps successful leaders and their teams agree on what needs to change and how to make it happen. She is the author of Fearless Growth: The New Rules to Stay Competitive, Foster Innovation, and Dominate Your Markets. Amanda can be contacted at www.setili.com. This article first appeared on Amanda’s website.
