Touching your nails or face or picking at your skin typically indicates that you’re nervous, overwhelmed, and not in control. Photo: Freepik.
Numerous studies have found that personality judgments are made on apparently minor interactions, such as handshakes or eye contact. Travis Bradberry has some tips for ensuring this often-unconscious behaviour does not damage your career prospects.
The human brain is hardwired to judge. This survival mechanism makes it hard to meet someone without evaluating and interpreting their behaviour.
While we tend to think our judgments are based on the content of conversations and other obvious actions, the research says otherwise.
In fact, the majority of our judgments are focused on smaller, subtler things, such as handshakes and body language. We often form complete opinions about people based solely on this kind of behaviour.
In a University of Kansas study, subjects accurately predicted people’s personality traits, such as extroversion/introversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness, simply by looking at pictures of the shoes they wore.
Our unconscious behaviour has a language of its own, and its words aren’t always kind.
This behaviour has likely become an integral part of who you are, and if you don’t spend much time thinking about it, now is a good time to start because it could be sabotaging your career.
Here are some pointers.
How you treat waiters and receptionists: This is so indicative of your makeup that it has become a common interview tactic.
By gauging how you interact with support staff on your way in and out of the building, interviewers gain a sense of how you treat people in general.
Most people act the part when they’re speaking to the hiring manager or other ‘’important’’ people, but some will pull a Jekyll and Hyde act the moment they walk out the door, treating others with disdain or indifference.
Business lunches are another place where this comes to light. No matter how nice you are to the people you have lunch with, it’s all for naught if those people witness you behaving badly towards others.
How often you check your phone: There’s nothing more frustrating than someone pulling out their phone in mid-conversation.
Doing so conveys a lack of respect, attention, listening skills, and willpower, so unless it’s an emergency, it’s wise to keep your phone holstered.
One study has found that pulling out your phone during a conversation lowers both the quality and quantity of face-to-face interactions.
Repetitive, nervous habits: Touching your nails or face or picking at your skin typically indicates that you’re nervous, overwhelmed, and not in control.
Research from the University of Michigan also suggests that these nervous habits are indicative of a perfectionistic personality, and that perfectionists are more likely to engage in these habits when they’re frustrated or bored.
How long you take to ask questions: Have you ever had a conversation with someone where they talked about themselves the entire time?
The amount of time someone allows to pass before they take an interest in you is a strong personality indicator. People who talk only about themselves tend to be loud, self-absorbed ‘’takers’’ while people who only ask questions and share little about themselves are usually quiet, humble ‘’givers’’.
Those who strike a nice balance of give-and-take are reciprocators and good conversationalists.
Your handshake: It’s common for people to associate a weak handshake with a lack of confidence and an overall lackadaisical attitude.
A study at the University of Alabama showed that, although it isn’t safe to draw assumptions about someone’s competence based on their handshake, you can accurately identify personality traits.
Specifically, the study found that a firm handshake equates to being less shy, less neurotic, and more extroverted.
Tardiness: Showing up late leads people to think you lack respect and tend to procrastinate, as well as being lazy or disinterested.
However, studies have found that tardiness is typically seen in people who multitask, or are high in relaxed, Type B personality traits.
Type B individuals are often late because they experience time more slowly than the rest of us.
The bottom line here is not to read too much into people showing up late. It’s better to ask what’s behind it than to make assumptions.
Eye contact: While it’s important to maintain eye contact, doing so 100 per cent of the time is perceived as aggressive and creepy.
At the same time, if you only maintain eye contact for a small portion of the conversation, you’ll come across as disinterested, shy, or embarrassed.
Studies show that maintaining eye contact for roughly 60 per cent of a conversation strikes the right balance and makes you come across as interested, friendly, and trustworthy.
Sometimes the little things in life make a big difference. It’s good to be ready for them so you can make a strong impression.
Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. His books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. He can be contacted at TalentSmart.com. This article first appeared on the TalentSmart website.
