Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this ability shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work. Photo: Stock.
It’s natural to want to make friends at work – where you spend so much of your time – but Travis Bradberry urges caution in opening up about some aspects of your private life.
Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways at work is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders in the moment can wind up as obvious mistakes with hindsight.
The trouble is, you can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues. Doing so is tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.
You must know where the line is and be careful not to cross it, because once you share something, there is no going back.
My research shows that the upper echelons of top corporate performance are filled with people high in emotional intelligence (90 per cent of top performers, to be exact).
Emotional intelligence is the ‘’something’’ in each of us that is intangible. It affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.
Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this ability shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.
They know better than to reveal any of the following, because these things will send their career careening in the wrong direction.
Your political beliefs: People’s political beliefs are too closely tied to their identities to be discussed without incident at work.
Disagreeing with someone else’s views can quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you. Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most insulting things you can do.
Granted, different people treat politics differently, but asserting your values can alienate some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Be willing to listen to others without inputting anything at your end because all it takes is a disapproving look to start a conflict.
Political opinions are so deeply ingrained in people that challenging their views is more likely to get you judged than to change their mind.
That you think someone is incompetent: There will always be incompetent people in the workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude.
Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers’ negative opinions of you.
How much money you make: Your parents may love to hear all about how much you’re pulling in each month, but in the workplace it breeds only negativity. It’s impossible to allocate salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours gives your co-workers a direct measure of comparison.
As soon as everyone knows how much you make, everything you do at work is considered against your income. It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll never see each other in the same way again.
That you hate your job: The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job.
Doing so labels you as a negative person who is not a team player, and this brings down the morale of the group.
Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting around the corner.
What you do in the bedroom: Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work.
Such comments will get a chuckle from some people, but leave most uncomfortable and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.
What you think someone else does in the bedroom: There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know that thoughts of their love life are on your mind.
Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like: “Oh, to be a newlywed again” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.
Your thoughts are your own; just keep them to yourself.
How wild you used to be: Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then.
Some behaviour that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity, such as binge drinking or petty theft, shows everyone you work with that, when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment.
That you are job hunting: Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time.
There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone.
Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart. His books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. He can be contacted at TalentSmart.com. This article first appeared on the TalentSmart website.
