If you always got what you wanted, why wouldn’t you believe in Santa Claus? Photo: Region.
What’s under the Christmas tree this year?
If only Christmas was always that special time of year when everyone got exactly everything they wished for – every time.
Imagine how much manipulation of such a system would be going on if that were the case.
No hard work needed – just wait for Christmas for your wishes to come true.
Maybe that does happen in some respect for many small children.
They know how to work the system, write to Santa and put the pressure on at home for ‘Father Christmas’ to deliver the goods.
Why would any child want to confess disbelief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy? It’s counter-intuitive, and who in their right mind would work against their interests?
Well, because we often refer to our elected representatives as kindergarten kids misbehaving – mostly during Question Time when they know the nation’s cameras are on them – let’s apply the ‘all I want for Christmas’ theory to some of our current and former high-profile MPs.
If they could get what they really wanted this Christmas just by asking, what would it be?
It’s mostly prime ministers past and present I’m considering for this exercise (so there is some historical context to be pondered for some of this), but I’ve thrown in a few current high-profile MPs and senators, too.
And yes, this is an exercise in the banal, but it’s been a big year and we’re all tired.
So here goes – what some of our favourite/best-known/not-really-liked-but-they-never-leave politicians (past and present but all still with us) might be asking Santa for Christmas this year if they were assured of having their wishes fulfilled.
Barnaby woz ere. Photo: David Murtagh.
Barnaby Joyce – an inflatable cushion for those unexpected footpath naps.
Pauline Hanson – an invitation to Donald Trump’s inauguration.
Anthony Albanese – an interest rate cut.
Peter Dutton – an early election.
Scott Morrison – a hose.
Malcolm Turnbull – an invitation to Rupert Murdoch’s memorial service.
Tony Abbott – a knighthood.
Kevin Rudd – a Christmas card from Donald Trump.
Julia Gillard – selection for Alan Jones’ jury.
John Howard – a Bennelong brow thread
Paul Keating – for all those scumbag journalists to just nick off!
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Original Article published by Chris Johnson on Riotact.
